I dont know why I did it and what made me even want to look into it but I went online and took a personality disorder test, I know it ain't accurate as only a professional can assess me but I took it and it came up with a result; moderate, high or very high. It said that if scored very high i may want to get it checked by GP for signs or symptoms and if moderate then its unlikely that i have any traits of that particular disorder. I scored high for antisocial, scored moderate for borderline personality disorder, very high for schizoid personality disorder, moderate for schizophrenia. I know it sounds stupid but does anyone think i should get it checked out? I mean since ive last been assessed which was 3 months ago, i feel ive got worse. And the questions asked were really detailed questions i could relate to quite a bit about how i feel and other people see me as. I know ive had a few people say they feel i suffer from more deeper things than depression, anxiety and paranoia, that i have split personalities alot of the time. I even met this guy yesterday in work, he was in his 50s maybe slightly less, im not sure. He was talking to himself, like answering himself and arguing, he was punching the air like he was really fighting and squaring up to the wall as if hes ready to attack it. He's been in a number of times but yesterday was the first time ive took time out to talk to him. Everyone normally makes jokes of him and I admit ive laughed once with people because he will just start talking randomly and I just thought he drinks too much and it goes to his head. Anyway yesterday I saw him talking and arguing with himself in what seemed a different language but I think its because he talks fast and cant pronounce words properly. Customers were looking at him as if to say “what the hell, he's mental”. And I walked by and he said hi so I said hello back, then walked off to ask my colleague what's wrong with him because he's scaring other customers. He said he suffers from schizophrenia so he cant help talking to himself like someones there answering back. That moment I felt awful for laughing that time thinking he was a drunk and I felt like I could relate to him. I purposely went out of my way and asked how he was and it was hard to understand fully but he was talking to me and we got onto the subject of bullies back in school, and he was saying how he deposed bullies. People bully him and take the piss out of him for the way he is, not even knowing his background or his disability. He was then set on telling me a story about mike Tyson and how he got bullied etc. So I just listened because he probably has no one that listens to him anymore. It was so sad because everyone avoided him or laughed. I felt awful. He was a nice, down to earth man. Its sad that people can still be bullied and not accepted in society for having a mental problem.

2 Comments
  1. peteEpete 7 years ago

    I read your blog, Sounds like you do the same thing I do, self diagnose, ive been told that isnt healthy but i still do it,although I would definitely not rely on the online scoring to diagnose mental issues.the computer would probably read \”error\” if I did the test today lol.

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  2. pe19 7 years ago

    I get what you mean haha I do that alot because I dont get diagnosed by professionals and ive got worse and they won\'t help, a GP has no time for me, they just refer me to drugs and if i dont want them refer me to a therapist, which im on hold for at the moment and still waiting to hear back from them. So im getting to the point where ill diagnose myself. I know its not fully reliant but it says if scoring high and especially very high then go seek help. The questions were proper, not just what any person wrote up so i think its more reliable source than another website. We do seem alike in that sense though haha

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