How are you supposed to continue with life in general when the only person you have can't see past the things that are wrong with you? I may or may not have BPD. I have mood swings, I get angry and break shit, I'm a bitch, I cut myself pretty regularly and if left alone after a fight there is probably a chance that I might try to OD.
I explain again and again to him what it feels like in those moments, that I don't want to be like this anymore, that the way I am is never his fault, that I'm trying my best to get help and to try to communicate my feelings in a semi positive way so we can avoid these situations all together. He says he'll do anything to help me feel better…and yet when I ask for the tiniest things I'm accused of being "stubborn" and restricting his "freedom". For him, there is nodifference between me and my depression/BPD/ whatever this is.
He's started to see an old friend of his again, a person who's brought an incredible amount of conflict and drama into both of our lives over the last 2 years, someone who you can't even see one time without setting of a chain of excessive calling and demands. I've learned my lesson from him…I don't want any more drama, especially not now. 99% of my husband's friends have completely screwed us both over and I don't want it to go back to that again.
Is it so ridiculous for me to ask that he wait a while before seeing this crazy drama queen dude again? Maybe when I'm not crazy depressed, and maybe when he has a job so he doesn't have to depend on other people for money? He offers to help me with anything and says he understands me but it's all a lie. He needs to vent too obviously but I wish he didn't offer to make sacrifices when he won't follow through.