I’ve been private the past year about becoming agoraphobic towards the end of 2021 which has caused me to have to take some time off of work. On January 29th, 2023 I made my first trip outside of the house alone in over a year. Thanks to my Son Joshua who has been right by my side. I share this because I suffer a lot in silence and often think others probably are also. Always being asked to be placed as tentative for an invitation rather than tell the truth out of embarrassment. I’m used to being the one helping others and I’ve been on the other side which has been difficult & also extremely humbling! I went through agoraphobia when I was in my early twenties and never in a million years thought history would repeat itself. I am a mental health professional. This, at times I believe has made the journey tougher than the first time because I know logically everything there is to know about healing, false fear, etc. The agoraphobia began after an intense panic attack while driving to work. It was terrifying. I’ve had hundreds of panic attacks and was able to move on the next day. This was different. My mind, body and soul just would not let go of the fear, regardless of all my teachings telling me I was o.k. and was not going to die. There are so many sayings I love; What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, this too shall pass and so many others. All those sayings, meditation, mindfulness, reaching out to supporters, fell to the waste side when I was at my worst.  Now that I am getting better and leaving the house, driving alone (approximately a two mile square radius) I am able to work on all of those things I used to teach such as joining this group. I am an open book. I believe in Peer Support and I firmly believe that by sharing our experiences, we help others. I look forward to recovering. I currently have until April 7th to retain my position at work before I have to look at long term disability until I am healthy enough to be at work away from home five days a week eight hours a day. I am not there yet and it scares me. I have a great therapist and a great Dr. I pray daily that this journey leads me to wherever I am supposed to be. I know I am not alone and I can get through this even when that dark cloud is hovering over me trying to consume me.