Today i surfed and landed on this site. It has given me some kind of relief! I was diagnosed positive on 3rd Agust 2011. It is difficult to express in writting the shock i felt and iam still going through. Not that i had been so clean ( BTW iam straight) but i always used a condom. I went to Benjamin Franklin Hospital here in Berlin with some acute neck pain. I also had some temperature. The Drs ordered blood tests and they found some bacteria whose name i cant remember. They also suggested that i take an HIV test. At first i declined. One Dr took his time to explain to me that the kind of bacteria they had found only occurs in those with suppressed immunity. I accepted. It took three days ( i was hospitalised taking penicilin drips for the bacteria) before i was given the terrible news. My CD4 count wassaid to be 454 and the Viral load 133. I was told this was very good!!!!I believe i have not been properly handled since being given the news; one young Dr told me that i would immedeately start medication after one week, even the nurses who were adminstring the bacteria drip confirmed how i would have the HIV meds after a week. The week elapsed and there were no meds. Nobody told me what was happening! After 2 days i asked the nurses, they told me they were waiting for instructions fom the Drs. I gathered courage and asked one of the Drs, when she came in for a routine check. She told me they had decided that i first finish with the Bacteria drips before i start on hiv meds. I was discharged from the hospitaland given anappointment to see the hiv Dr on 22nd september. I did go for that appointment and there was nothing much apart from blood samples being taken and giving me another appointment for 5th October!! I have not been counseled by anybody leave alone a specialist. The internet has been my only fallback counselor.I have read a lot, but i remain scared, angry and disappointed with myself! Maybe iam only new to his thing but that is how matters are handled, i do not know. sorry for my diatribe.Iam just confused.

  1. yk 10 years ago


    Thank u someone. As i said, i may only be anxious coz of my ignorance.

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  2. yk 10 years ago

    Thank u MJ

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  3. MarcAnthony 10 years ago

    Welcome to Tribe! Blogging is such a great way to express and let out any and all feelings you may have. Never hesitate to express yourself here. You're among good people…I should know, people here have helped me a great deal.


    Hang in there and take good care.

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