Hi, I have had a lot going on in my life latly, and just needed some place to get things out. I have been dealing with Depression and Anxiety sense the age of Sixteen, but here in the past months it has gotten so much worse. Its to the point where I don't even get out of bed for days on end. I've had to move into an assited living facility for the mentally ill, which I hate. They take all of your disability check and give you 66 dollars for the month. They take your med payments out of that money. They treat you like crap here, and you get no support, there is no possible way for me to move anywhere else, so i'm stuck here. You are not allowed to have a car, so i'm forced into selling my last sign of independent living….my car. I have no family life. My family hates me, and tells me on numerous occasions that they would rather have me dead, then have to deal with me anymore. I'm starting to think that they might be right. Sometimes I just want to end it all. I'm in a failing relationship. It is codependant and not healthy, and I realize that, but I can't break it off, because I won't find anyone else willing to date a loser like me. I'm supposed to be starting online school in the Spring but I don't know if I can handle that. I can't get any help. My meds are not working. But I have to lie to my therapist and doctor because the house I live in makes them fill out a report at the end of each session, and they read it when I get back, and give me hell for a bad report. I can't go to the hospital even though I feel I need to. I don't know where to turn or where to go. I have tried all types of therapy sense age sixteen and none of them have worked. I have tried all the meds there are out there, and none have worked. I have even tried that ect treatment, and that didn't work. I have been hospitalized over thirty times, and none of those have gotten me better. I don't know what to do. I can't get better, so maybe I should just end it.