Yesterday I got a call from my soon-to-be-ex, asking me what is left of our divorce proceedings now that the house has been sold and the proceeds from the sale are in a trust account. I told him that the proceeds will be divided between us after the expenses have been paid and the lawyers are paid off. 

Chad didn’t want the house to be sold, but I did because he got greedy for money and plus I wanted to put as much distance between us as that should be the case when a couple is going their seperate ways, so I insisted upon selling the house, and we did just that. Case closed. Now…

He’s living in a hotel room at the moment until the settlement transpires and he continues to see his trashy friends and live a vicarious life. I suspect that once he gets his money, he is going to go back home to the Middle East, which probably justifies his present choice of living arrangements and his lack of or not wanting to share rent with a friend for an apartment. He doesn’t have a job nor is he looking for one as he makes an attempt to turn a new page and start a new life for himself. I don’t understand him. I just don’t. His behavior is very strange…even my family says so.

I don’t know why I feel the way that I do. I felt sorry for him when we had our short phone conversation. I don’t hate my husband even though we’re divorcing. We just can’t live together and work things out. I still have an inkling of care for him inspite of the fact that he doesn’t give a damn about me.

There’s that part of me that has compassion for other people irregardless of how they feel about me. I guess it’s just because I have a kind heart and that’s the way I feel about people. I need to be needed and wanted. I guess that’s a self worth issue and one I will leave for another blog…