I really try to be postive about the anxiety and just deal with it, but after Tuesday night all  I want to say "it really sucks" its so hard to have a mental illness. For those that dont know I just started a new job. I am a first year teacher and I love it. Yet teaching is not easy for anyone especially the first year. I know that my body has limatations when it comes to be being superwoman. I want to do everything, and I forget that I need to sleep and eat well. Lately I have not done those things and Tuesday night my body definitly responded that I need rest. I came from work and I told myself I was going to take a nap. My nap turned in three hours and I woke up at 8:00pm. I woke up not feeling well. I went in the living room with my room mate and I sat down to watch tV. All of sudden I started to feel worse. I went up stairs to my room and I knew something was not right. I felt my body and mind was going to lose control. I felt extremly thirsty and I felt very weak and shacky I felt like I was going to die. I have not felt like this in a long… time. I was tempted to panic and totally freak out, but I did not. I just told myself that im having a panic attack. I got up and took a xanax, which I have not taken in a long time. I got my Bible and started to read out of Pslams. I just asked God to help me. Please allow these feeling to pass. God defintly helped me and is continuing too. After attacks like that I feel like my body takes a while to recuiperate. I then feel yucky and deppressed and still trying to shack it off. My mind and body just wants to run away and be alone. I beg God to help me I cant handle this disorder on my own I can only over come it with his strength. I feel like crying because its hard. Thank you all my anxiety friends that can relate. It brings my joy to know Im not the only on.