I’ve been feeling this way the past few days. As I hope things get better they really get worse. Some time last month I fell in love. I ended up trying to save someone and losing all my money and racking up 13,000 in debt…I tried to get an answer but that cost me another 500 as I was scammed…I helped people all through my life. I supported people mentally and emotionally. Now though there is no saving or helping. My job isn’t paying enough, I can’t mentally handle the stress of another job, my grandparents can’t understand me at all I’m still constantly being put down by people around me who supposedly care! My grandparents think I can do anything and that I’m lazy. I’m not. I’m motivated only by what interests me and what doesn’t I can’t focus on. PTSD, ADD/ADHD, depression and probably more…the end reality is I feel 100% screwed. I know I have an inferiority complex and feel no shame. Heck to be able to survive selling myself even though it is degrading has crossed my mind. The fact is I’m a 27 year old failure everyone expected to be great who has been tricked by a fake sugar momma, was used by a girl for his money and has amounted to nothing and can barely complete a video game or writing a book. I’ve always been against pain against suicide…but each day…it seems more like the only out. My grandparents get the insurance money can reclaim on my debts and theirs I don’t ever have to worry again and everyone can move on with their lives. Problem is it only solves part of the lives i touch…those i love who love me for real will be emotionally destroyed…I am in the end in an emotional limbo. I need to get life straight I need a miracle.
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