I need to do this, I HAVE to do this.
I need to leave, I know why.
I need to do things I wish i had never thought about. To die.
I wish there was some way i could avoid this, but I fear I can’t.
Why did this curse become burdened on me? What did I do to deserve this?
If there is a god, F*ck you! I’m on my way soon, welcome me, or get the f*ck out of my way.
I feel as though my life has crashed, as though it means nothing to me anymore. I need to get out of this life, to end it.
I wonder why my son cries at times like this, he is not old enough to understand what his daddy is going through, and I hope he never has to feel the way I do. Ever.
To quote Metallica: "And I wont be unforgiven" I believe this is the sign, that people will forgive me if I do what I have planned. Maybe this is the last blog I will make on this site, maybe you will hear from me tomorrow, we shall see.
If I do not make a post tomorrow, and succeed in my plan, I want you all to know, I enjoyed my time here, I thank all of you who replyed to my posts and blogs, and I hope you sort your lifes out.
Accept no substitutions when it comes to help, if you can get it, take it. If you need to cry, please, do it, it helps.
I will be logged on for a while, but then I shall go, either you will hear from me again, or you wont.
Thank you all again for the help you have given me, and maybe we will see each other in another life, or whatever your beliefs are.
I have a lot if respect for what you guys have been through, and how you have handled it. May you all find the peace you are looking for.
For now, I say goodbye, farewell, and enjoy your remaining time on this planet. Thank you all again.