Ok…so Im REALLY anxoius. I have been since last night. I didn't get much sleep and ended up calling off work which I NEVER do. I thought Id sleep today but I can't really stay asleep. I can't eat either.

This is really annoying and weird. As I said in a previous blog, I USED to have a big problem with unwarrented jealousy, etc, regarding my husband but with therapy I had really gotten better and almost never feel jealous let alone suspicious anymore. It's been like 2 years since then and while I may have had a non-specific negative thought like "What if he cheats on me?" they were very rare, easily dismissed and didn't end up leading to much (if any) anxiety.

Two years ago, I was on birth controll pills for endometriosis. It was a few months into taking them that I began to get a little depressed, very anxious and totally paranoid-suspicious of my husband. Id be wanting to check his phone, pockets, car, etc, for proof of his infidelity. It was a really bad time but I've come a long way and don't have those feelings or urges at all anymore.

Well, awhile ago I had read some message boards with women comparing different birth control pills, etc, and their experiences with them. I was surprized to see a LOT of them complaining of having anxiety, panic attacks and depression that they only had while on the pill. A few people even talked about becoming paranoid, etc, about boyfriends. So I thought "Hmm…maybe THAT'S what that was all about!"

Im not stupid. I know a birth control pill alone can't put thoughts in my head and that I had some major trust issues to deal with, which I have. But it just seems strange to me that I can feel "fine" and not have any of these feelings for 2 years after stopping that birth control but a month after I start taking another one-BAM-back to square one????

 So, I am going to stop taking it again!

Fu**en pills…