Its sick, because now I welcome lonliness. At least lonliness is comfort, its constant, and it never changes. Always creating the same hollow feeling in my chest, always making tears fall down my cheeks, and it allways brings the sadness with it. Lonliness, Sadness, and me, we're quite the trio, I have the scars to prove it.
They love to come and bring me down because they no that no one in my life (not counting my online life) can possibly understand or comprehend what I go through.
They are there to make sure that this wonderful day, the day I have officially lost 10 lbs with only 20 more to go…the day I step on the scale and it is FINALLY below 130 they come and make sure I look at myself and see how fat I still am.
The day I start to feel confident about school and how amazing I'm doing, the day I start to feel smart for taking pre college courses they make sure someone comes and knocks me down. Today it was my mom of all people, the one who talks so many great things about me to friends and family. I now realize its because she doesnt want to be the failed parent with a daughter who is never good enough. I mean that has to be it. She says she's concerned but why? I have a 3.7 gpa…is it because I got a 90 B in my college course…well apparently since I'm going to college (next year though, traveling this year) I should be passing them with 97 As or higher. My freaking bad for juggling highschool, and college at the same time and not doing it perfectly.
So thank you Lonliness and Sadness for giving me the 70 degree day I've been wishing for and bringing all of the above down on me. They truly are the best company one can have…