i haven't blogged in a couple days in hope that other members would share, i come online and read alot of things people post (lets just say i substitute meetings for addictiontribe) it would be great to see more people come on and share their experiences online, but one blog that really stood out was jj's. he is right our recovery is really based on ourselves and then if we put ourselves out there trying to help others and all they do is relapse its just a big slap in the face.. now i see that one guy has 7 days clean and thats great keep up the good work!! me i just stop counting because i cant focus all my energy into 'oh i been clean for this many days' because all it takes is just a split second for all that to go away.. the way i look at it is there is a process in order to relapse right? first the thought has to kick in, then you have to convince yourself to do it, next you call your dealer and then go meet him. in my case i would have to find a set of works cooker etc etc… now in between doing all that i have to learn self control and just say no..this disease is always going to be apart  of me, im the type that can go out have a couple beers and that will be that i've never had a problem with alcohol, cocaine meth or any other drug, Heroin has always been my kyrptonite…

for those reading this it might come off as me being selfish or whatever but what im trying to get at is our recovery is our own, nobody elses..there are times where you can stop yourself into actually relapsing all you gotta do is occupy your time with doing something you really enjoy..me i been playing alot of xbox 360 spending time online, playing with my girls spending quality time with my significant other..its all a state of mind thing, we didn't become addicts overnight it took awhile, now its gonna take time to get better and become a different person..but if you take the time a dedicate yourself it will be better