I just watched a old sitcom from many decades ago with a pregnant woman upset and saying how she really felt about the stage of life.   It brought me to tears because I remember wanting to “love it all” but it wasn’t all you see in adds and most sitcoms! Why does motherhood have to be so isolating and can’t mothers be honest? Why can’t they say that don’t like pregnancy, childbirth is thumbs down and the hospital and doctor office experience can be traumatic?

The fact is that not all women love being pregnant, and they don’t feel beautiful and healthy when pregnant, and don’t love the act of giving birth.

It is also okay to not love the adapting to motherhood.   It can be tiring, the reality of having the heaviest period one has ever had after had, extreme pain afterward and feeling as every other woman “just feels so very happy for every part of becoming a mother.”

I believe that part of being a good parent and helpful person in the world is being real with other new parents about how you felt and what to really expect.

I believe many women end up with a form  of pregnancy guilt.   “Anyone who is pregnant is fortunate so therefore it is wrong to feel insecure, like a giant blob who feels nauseous and has to spend a lot of time running to the bathroom.   Why it is a honor and a “amazing experience.”  Is it really for every one? It isn’t!

Some women merely survive pregnancy, shudder at memories of childbirth, and suffer in silence because society expects for them to be “happy” about each stage.

If a woman feels unattractive while pregnant and much like a puffy giant marshmallow, she has to keep it to herself or risk being labeled vain and “not loving pregnancy.”  Why it is supposed to be a “honor and privilege.”

I will be honest with everyone.   Breastfeeding and being a mom are the good parts of motherhood.

The bad parts are being poked and prodded with needles and lack of modesty with medical situations, rude medical staff, medical staff that smells like a ashtray, being accused of not trying during childbirth by cruel nurses, etc.

If you see a new mom in public, please ask how she is feeling, and how motherhood is going so far.   Please give new mothers a chance to be real for once and not just have to say, “It was all worth it.   Pregnancy, childbirth, etc was wonderful!”   It is simply isn’t the experience of all women.

I think that most people would be surprised how many new moms with very new babies appreciate being asked how then are sleeping, feeling and how their motherhood journey was for them.

Life isn’t always a living sitcom and women can be falsely judged as having post partum depression if they aren’t walking around singing the praises of the getting to motherhood experience!

If you see a mother not enjoying motherhood in a store, go up to her and say something encouraging!  Don’t just praise how beautiful her baby is! Ask how she is doing.  Listen! If you can relate being a mom, share how you felt when you were in her shoes.

In reality, the only thing that was good about the process of pregnancy to childbirth was breastfeeding and bonding with my babies.

Did you know that a person can adopt and induce lactation without even going through the thumbs down experiences?

If I would of known this, I would of gone this route knowing know how horrible my journey with medical care, needle pokes at doctor appointment, rude medical staff, lack of modesty, feeling like a giant marshmallow, and to be expected to feel “happy” for the experience.

Oh, and it is a lie that everyone forgets about how horrible painful and unpleasant pregnancy, childbirth and delivery are! I remember vividly!

Honesty is better than going along with saying what people want to here but it isn’t safe to do so without risking judgment.

Please be kind to pregnant women and new moms who aren’t loving every minute of the stage of life and share a supportive word with them!

If I could do it over again, I would of adopted babies and induced breastfeeding.   It possibility could of been pure motherhood bliss experience and minus the suffering compared to the whole process!