That's right, life's a bitch and then you die. I'm really not an angry person, but lately when everything seems to not be going your way it's hard to be optimistic. I have had everything given to me: Nice parents, loving boyfriend, a car, a job, school. But yet I somehow find a way to become a stressed out nervous wreck. It would make sense if I was low on money or out of a job to be stressed, but really everything, in essence, seems perfect. And that is the most frustrating part of the entire thing.

Lately I have been feeling like a lot of this anxiety is caused more biological and neurological then anything. I used to feel like with enough therapy, positive attitude, and determination that I could get through anything. Unfortunately, that's not the case. For 2 years I have been "pushing" myself to do things that are scary. And everyday, it does NOT get easier rgardless of what the therapists and friends tell you. Therefore, a positive mindset does nothing. I could be perfectly happy one second and then BAM panic.. I don't even have time to grasp what my emotions are, how I am feeling, why I started getting panicky or anything. Something is not connecting right in my brain…something is wrong.

I feel this to be true alsobecause when I was a child, I was afraid of everything. I would not swim, I would not ride rides, I would not even ride in a car with air bags because I could potentially be harmed. I had seperation anxiety with my mother whenever I went to daycare to the point of not eating in the mornings and taking kava so that I could calm down (This was at 9 years old). My aunt is also suffering with extreme agoraphobia.. she has not worked a job in 10 years, is on 32893423 medications, and refuses to be alone at any given time.To me, this seems like I was pre-dispositioned to have anxiety and panic attacks. 21 years later and 10 therapists later I have still not mastered or found out a way to healthily deal with my anxiety, even though i have done everything the therapists have said on a religious basis.

So i guess my question is, is there a way to find out if neurologically something is wrong with my brain? I look forward to the day when I find something wrong with it.. so that I can take medication or something to fix this problem once and for all.

2 Comments
  1. stinkerbell63 8 years ago

    I feel the exact same way. It does make life very difficult. I also hope for a time that it will all be fixed. Until then I\'m just doing the best I can. Feel free to chat message me if you ever need to talk to someone that understands.

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  2. miti 8 years ago

    It sounds to me like maybe it\'s time to see a psychiatrist and get diagnosis. I too have the kind of anxieties that you have, but with the help of Dr. B (my wonderful psych) we discovered that not only do I suffer from severe anxiety, but I am bi-polar. He has been treating me with several meds for a number of years, and I can honestly say that it has improved my life greatly. I still go up and down, still have anxiety and still have days/weeks when I feel like I can\'t handle it. But he is always willing to see me at practically a moments notice, and has worked really hard with me to adjust my meds according to how I am doing. I trust him, and I know that I would not be the person I am without his help. Sometimes people are really afraid of meds, but when you can use them with the help of an understanding psych, they can improve your life greatly. Hope you will consider going beyond \”therapists\” and find a doctor who can help you. I find that being able to put a name to my illness has helped me deal with it – and that putting my trust in someone who knows alot more than I do has been the best decision I ever made. Good luck, you\'re not alone!

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