Things have been rather rough lately.  I have been doing maintenance/cleaning work at a coffee shop for a few bucks to get by on until I'm able to get into treatment or extended care when the insurance kicks in on the 1st.  He called me last night saying something was missing out of the back room of the coffee shop and that he thought I took it, never said at the time what it was.  The 'back room' is simply more of the same coffee shop.  People regularly walk back there to see what there is, I had thought something happened with some of his electronics equipment, turns out he had a bank deposit laying out on a table.  For once I can actually say this screw up wasn't mine, but I don't have a leg to stand on any more.  I've lied to all of the people I've ever cared about and at the moment i'm having a rather hard time of it.  He doesn't want me to come back to finish any of the work I was working on, hopefully whoever did take it ends up doing something stupid and gets caught.  It's the only way anybody could possibly believe me and i doubt I'll be so lucky. 

There are 10 days until the 1st.  On the 1st my Medica coverage through the state kicks in and the treatment place I'm talking to can send in their request.  I'm hoping it doesn't take too terribly long to get the OK.  My welcome here feels very over-stayed.  I'm with my parents but I've never made life easy in the past and now, well I'm very lucky to have a place to stay and these recent developments aren't helping any.  I'm thinking of just staying within the confines of the yard for the next couple of weeks.  Just don't go out.  Hibernate.  I can't think of what else to do.

I'm reading a few books at the moment, one of them is called the Hiram Key by christopher knight and robert lomas.  Another one, my dad turned me on to, is called the secret, about positive thinking, etc.  I forget the author.  Both interesting books.

Thanks for listening

  1. jefwheels 12 years ago

     Hang in there brother. Just try to keep doing the next right thing. It will work out in the long run.   Stay strong and stay clean.     Johnny Wheels    

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  2. jjrocksarizona 12 years ago

    turn the situation and your life over to the care of a loving, caring higher power and turn it over. what ever happens in the long run happens.  you know who’s wrong and who’s right here. good luck on the treatment program. it just might be the key to getting to the root of your problem. YOU!!!!!! until then attend as many meetings as you can and hang onto program people just like you held onto your addiction. you’ll find you can get addicted to Recovery just as easy. we are all here to help. just stick your hand out and we are here for you. stay clean and be good to yourself.


    in Recovery 4 Life,



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