You know i read each and every blog that is posted by my brothers and sisters in recovery. it’s funny because i read about a lot of things but what i truly don’t read is a lot about what recovery has not only done for you but what it is still doing for you. i have seen some of you relapse, i have seen some of you talk about how you’re lives used to be and i have seen you talk about a lot of failure. please rest assured that nobody is perfect. we all have our character defects. we all have different parts of our disease that affect us in different ways. I have my own personal demons i struggle with. from being an addict in recovery, to being bi-polar, from suffering from post tramatic war syndrome. also i am an insulin dependent diabetic.
but through all these things i work my program to the best of my ability. i pray to the God of my understanding to please not give me more than i can handle in one day. i ask my God to protect my family and friends in rcovery. i pray for us to keep the desire to stay clean another day. i continue to learn about me and my disease. i ask for answers to the questions i can’t answer today. i truly do not have all the answers and pray that i continue to seek the knowledge i need to stay in recovery today and every day.
i have to continue to work the steps on a daily basis. even though i have been through the steps more than once we always have to be aware of where we are at, at all times in our journey of recovery. don’t ever be afraid of asking questions. i have gone through a lot in the last 5 months but i have stayed clean through it all. in April my uncle died from cancer, may 1st my brother in law who i helped get 3 years clean died at 57 from pancreactic cancer, may 15th we had to put my wife’s dog to sleep from cancer, july 26th my Dad who lived with me for his last 5 years died, 6 days after returning from having him laid to rest my mom died. i was in the hospital 2 weeks ago with an infection and pnuenomia. while i was in there my dog attacked my great nephew who lives with us and yesterday i got his ashes back. i have lost 3 dogs in the past 31/2 years. but due to the grace of God and NA i did not have to use. be grateful for what you have. be thankful that youi can give back to this program.
So please remember that recovery is a journey not a destination and use the rest stops God provides along the way.
NA hugs and Love,