Two cold sores in the span of 3 months!! Two cold sores!! This has never happened to me before, eigth grade was the first time I have ever had one, and then after that I only had them maybe once a year IF that at the most. Obviously there is stress in my life, seeing as I am not nor have I ever been sexually active, nor that family rarely gets them, nor do I allow (heaven forbid) an excess amount of germs to harbor on my face. It's internal stress tho, if that makes sense at all, I haven't been crying or breaking down at all save for sad or romantic movies and commercials..I haven't been wanting to be alone. Everything right now is all on the inside swimming around, attacking my forehead with stray pimples, and my lips with cold sores.

    I feel alone like I have been for awhile although I live at home with 3 brothers, my mom, and my stepdad. I feel weak although I have been at the gym everyday for the past month!! My mind is playing irrational tricks on me…I contacted a military site, not because I'm weird but because I am in the military, and signed up for a "beat anxiety" program where you can have a personal coach in any format you like,,,,turned out to be people who only deal with anxiety to a certain extent and not at all with ocd..the coach gave me another number of the main military switchboard for the site and they seem to be able to do a lot more, and even refer me to someone locally. I have been hesitant to call becuase I so want to leave Texas, but if I were to leave it wouldn't actually be for a couple of months, and I really want to talk to someone now…just don't want to be committed to anything when I plan on leaving.

     So what to do about these days, when my only outlet is this blog??