So I've always been a big baby when it comes to roller coasters. I will get on them but I scream my head off when I do and I never take my hands off of the safety bars. For the first time in years, I went to an amusement park to ride roller coasters (Cedar Point) with my date and my cousins, and I was sure this time wouldn't be any different. As we were waiting in line for one of the biggest, scariest coasters, my heart was racing and I was starting to doubt whether or not I should actually get on. I swallowed my fear and sat down in my seat because I admitted to myself that Ihavebeen craving a rush, even if this wasn't what I'd had in mind. We quickly climbed to the top of the first 300+ foot-tall hill and I was anticipating to feel my stomach lurch when we went over…but I didn't. I was totally fine. In fact, I was almost a little disappointed. It was still fun, but it wasn't much of an adrenaline rush at all. After years of freaking out on roller coasters, I didn't feel anything.

It didn't make a lot of sense to me at first that I would suddenly be so expert at handling the rush, until I realized- the meds I'm on for anxiety and depression aren't only preventing me from feeling bad anxiety, they're keeping me from feeling good anxiety as well. I felt cheated and frustrated with my situation. It wasn't fair. Everyone else that went got to have their fun and feel the rush, but I was unperturbed and completely unaffected. What am I supposed to do? I still crave an adrenaline rush, yet a 300 foot drop at almost 100 miles per hour couldn't satisfy that. How far do I have to go, what risks do I have to take, to fulfill this craving? I feel dangerous and on edge. I want to feel something again, but I don't want to be depressed the way that I am without my medications. I've become dependent and it's affecting the way I respond to positive situations as well as negative ones.

1 Comment
  1. fishman999 8 years ago

    Hi you now im dead scared going on those rides whenever we go to orlando and go the the theme parks it makes my legs turn to jellly just lookin at them,but what you experianced was as you say the down side of the medication im afraid you have to take the good and the bad affects you get from them if you feel the medication your on is doing you gud with your axiety and depression then its acheved what you are taking it for and not getting a buzz on a roller coaster is a small price to pay to feel nearly normal i hope this helps !!

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