I would like to say times are tough, but I don't really feel it. For me, and hopefully everyone here, it is midsummer and I am wondering what direction does my life need to go in in the next six months. For those that don't know:

I began the summer in may when my spring college classes ended. My plan was to lay low and have a quiet summer, refuel for the fall.

I had plan to get a job in june (I have been uneployerd since August 2007). I went out to fill out applications, but moist places are online applications, which I think I geared to screen out mentally ill people. Some how between august 2007 and now, i feel compelled to discourage and make publically known the stigma that negative imagery of mentally ill people. My last job started out great, then when I switched areas, it went downhill. The supervisor in the area seems to like to provoke my OCD. She didn't actually believe OCD existed. So far, I haven't had a call back, and the people who said they would call back, haven't. This has got my anxiety going.

Also my dad is in the hospital. He has been in the hospital since march 2008, when he had a heart attack. To the rest of my family this is a time of deep concern. Me, I don't really care, and I hope he dies. My dad has fueled much of my anger through most of my life. However, if he dies, the retirement income my mom is living on will be gone. This will effect my ability to go to college. I was hoping to get a small job on the side to help with money, but doesn't interfere with college. This has my anxiety going.

If I could but it on a numbers scale of 1 to 10, i would say the anxiety level is 1. 1 being the lowest and 10 the highest level.

On a positive note, i have my application to USF for the spring 2009 semester done, and just waiting on the transcripts to arrive at the college.

I am mainly worried because, I know as life is good right now, that is when something major tends to explode in my life and has major life altering consequences.

I have been working on my second book, but it isn't really a smooth operation. For some reason, I have it fixated in my head to go to the library, but until I do that, my mind seems unable to write.

I ran out of steam ….