Well first I want to write a long overdue apology to my friends here. It seems this site in and of itself somehow irritates a few of my OCD symptoms. As with most things, I try to ignore it for as long as possible and hope for it to go away.
That being said, I still can't quite imagine myself not disappearing from time to time.
So a hippocampus? Hippopotamus? Hippo….what….is?
Well a while back I believe I said I was going to go get checked out to see what was going on with my head. I just thought I'd like to let you all know how that came out. MRIs show that my hippocampus is fairly asymmetrical, which can eventually lead to more pronounced seizures and that my little deja vu episodes are more likely than not simple partial seizures.
I'm not upset.
Something about this site upsets me though. It upsets a very peculiar symptom of OCD that I don't really talk about. I'm sure at least some of you are familiar with the feeling that you control the world. You know, like if you step on a crack your mother's back really will break and she'll spend the rest of her life a crippled pile of sad all because you were CARELESS enough to STEP ON A *CRACK*?! Right. That being said.
Since my little simple partial seizures are more of extreme (exhausting) episodes of deja vu I really do get the feeling that I'm psychic. No, now hear me out, I'm not saying I THINK I'm psychic. I'm just saying that sometimes I get so confused I really do feel like I've done this all before but since I'm not I obviously dreamt it. At least that's how it feels, yes, that's how to describe how it feels.
I don't even remember where I was going. I guess all I can say is that I end up feeling somewhat, oddly, responsible for the people I meet on here. You're all wonderful people, but I'd hate to kill you all if I forgot to knock on wood. So you know, I'll put up the good fight, but when I disappear…. well, I'm just off on a bad one somewhere else (don't worry, I'm probably enjoying myself in whatever I'm doing).