I forced myself to take a walk.   In the process,  I practiced slow inhaling through the nose and very slow exhaling through the mouth.

Right now, I feel anxious and emotional.

I feel like a fraud living the wrong life that was meant for someone else.

On the outside, people look at me and see someone with a nice home (not a mansion by any means) a good size property in the country, a pool, a husband who loves me, nice dresses and shoes,  healthy plants and flowers, etc.

A man in a store told me I had sad eyes.  Normally, I wear sunglasses in stores to hide them.

I think it would help if situation ship person would of told me why he didn’t love or express that he cared about me.  Why did he propose without saying he loved me ever but instead saying his net worth and the number of children he wanted from me? I had / have feelings for him and would of said yes if he acted as if and said he loved me. I think he still has a part of my heart.   Why did he wait to propose after I had moved on when he showed he wasn’t into me and I was already engaged? Why didn’t he love me? I am confused

Thanks for listening.