Well my pet virus turns 5 today while at the same time I turn 35. Guess it's an ironic twist that I'll never wonder or forget what day of the year I got my diagnosis of being HIV positive. LOL.
Hmm. So here's to the first 5 years of being HIV positive. Whoo Hoo. oh joy. lol. Still not on medications, but hey that's a good thing right? lol. I go in for my Yearly visit with the HIV doctor at the VA. It's actuallyonce every Six to eight months with the VA.I'm just another numberto them. lol. I think the last time I had my CD4's and Viral load run things were fairly interesting. Although I'm not exactly looking forward to a diagnosis of AIDS, It will be a small relief when it finally arrives. The way I look at it: after surviving the war in Iraq and making it home walking on two feet versus being carried by six everything else tends to pale in comparrison. So being HIV positive is just another line item to me in many respects. Kind of like a check off list when you are doing a PCS. Survived one war only to come home and fight another war except inside my body. Go figure. LOL.
Call it being cynical, or even jaded, but I call it being realistic. To me the next benchmark is the AIDS diagnosis. Will it happen, yes. I'm not a long term non-progressor. Neither my genes or my HIV subtype indicate that I will be. Now am I lucky to still not be on meds. hmm. that's a different matter. Since I was diagnosed almost 3 months to the exact day (after infection) of being sereoconverted it is a matter of debate. And yes I know exactly when and where I contracted the HIV virus almost to the minute. It is rather both a blessing and a curse in some respects. But hey the Virus was caught VERY early on so rather than being positive for several years and then finding out I was only positive for a few months and then found out. I got lucky. So that is another blessing.
All in all my Pet Virus (Who I've named Darwin) and I get along fairly well. We have an agreement. PetVirus keeps it's crap to a minimum and allows me to get through school first before making a really good attempt at taking me out.
Although I just have one thing I really would like to do. I'm thinking of a good way to accomplish it. I want to actually look at my specific HIV Virus and get a picture of it to frame and put on my wall. Not sure how much that is going to cost me but I will get it done. That is really all I want for my Birthday. Now.. Will I get it. Chances are no. lol. But it will be interesting to make the attempt.
Anyhow. those of you out there wondering, well does it get better? The answer is. Only if you want it to. Yeah it's a bum rap and a crap shoot; but I'll tell ya what. It is not by any accounts the end of the world or the worst thing in this world. It's ok to be sarcastic, jaded, or even disillusioned about the whole deal. But I'll tell ya what. I got diagnosed 5 years ago on my 30th Birthday. And guess what? I turned 35 today and my pet Virus (Darwin) turned 5. I get two birthday cakes. One for me and one for my pet virus. LOL
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Being realistic it may be but take care of yourself and the AIDS may be a long long way off!! I happened to find out on my grandmother's birthday so i never forget either.
Hi there Doogie, I ;just read your blog and wanted to tell you that I have a son who was diagnosed 4 years ago in Oct. He has been on meds almost immediately. He is not happy with them because he goes thru a lot of side effects but he is alive and doing really well. He recently had his 6mo. check up and his numbers were really good. He has taken control over his diabetes and hepatitis too as a result of the meds and for that I am eternally grateful. The reason I am involving myself in your blog is because my son goes thru trials and tribs periodically and becomes emotional and depressed. He has told me that the meds can be extrordinarily harsh and he wishes sometimes to quit them and take it one day at a time. But you know what….I won't let him be a defeatist Doogie because I am his mother and I can't bear the thought of losing him without a fight. So we talk it out and then he feels better about the meds. He is absolutely right when he tells me tha I will never understand or be able to relate but I know how much I love him. I am his mother.
I hope that you read this and are not offended by my blog. It may seem out of line for me to comment. I am very happy that you have had the past 5 years and want you to have many more. Maybe that will be an easier goal if you had meds to help you. I am praying for meds that will cure HIV/AIDS in my sons lifetime. I will add you to my prayer list and will look for you on any blog posts.
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS
Lanie
Mrs. Lanie,
Were that all parents like you this world would be a better place and hope would shine a bit brighter in the darkness. 🙂 🙂 And no, you didn't offend me. I was after all a Navy Corpsman before I was Diagnosed. I lost the ability to be offended somewhere between all the schooling and the countless hours of watching over patients. 🙂 Your son is one lucky kid. I hope and pray that he knows how lucky he is to have you. Tell him I said don't give up, the fight it worth it and that it is not this Virus but rather the warmth of our hearts that matters and is what we will be remembered by. And by the way. I want to thank you for sticking by his side. It takes courage of the deepest kind to stay rather than leave when things get tough. There are way too many of us whose families turned their backs on after we found out we were HIV positive. So, Thank you.
V/r,
Doogie
I love your attitude. I can't even begin to tell you what hope and happiness that brings to my heart and my mental. My son is no where at that peace with it and I'm. Just praying to the Lord that he will arrive with that kind of peace. Thank GOD for people like u. I am so happy I read your words, they have uplifted me to the fullest. GOD will continue blessing you and thank you for protecting us while fighting in Iraq
Salute…kmg1947