Apocalypse WOW!  My sister is at it again1…I never seem to get much email from her since the election….I think she has given up on the world and my soul… I really really wish this next statement was original,  but I will paraphrase it here…."The more I know my family…. the more I feel that the rapture can\’t come SOON enough!"

She only emails me anymore with the latest inside info of the upcoming end-of-the-world senario….The last  phone conversation with her earlier this week started out pleasantly enough….but pretty soon it went Twilight Zone when she informed me; " Di you know that the new administration has been in conference with China and is seriously considering merging our economys and having a single currency between them?""UH….no sis.. I hadn\’t hear that one…..By the way,who are you chaneling this week?….You got a red phone to god?"  

Somewhere In the course of conversation I did manage to change the subject back to our mother. My half sister is Jewish from my mothers first marrage and is a "Jew For Jesus"….besides the serious issues there folks she has always seemed to have the need to be the bestest li\’l Christian on the planet. …Nobody but NOBODY meets her standards. SHe outed me to my mother when I was still a teenagaer and I always resit the urge to tell her that her second olderst son is big old closet case, but that would be going the same thing to him and I won\’t go there and do the same thing to him that dear old sis did to me…. Maybe god will spare me a few degrees of heat for that.

When I began talking about moms mental condition ( She has Alxzheimers disease) it came up about all  the family members on moms side  of the family who have  various Mental illnesses….Cousin Peggy (totally Bi-Polar and and alcoholic)….Cousin Tim….Schizopherenic but functonal on medication….to name a few…

I didn\’t think that my sister had too may surprises left for me at this stage of the game,but she landed a zinger…When sae looked up her Jewish birth father over a decade ago ( and I knew about that) , she found out  that her grandmother on her fathers side of the family had "lost her mind." ( I didn\’t know about that! )

My sister then made the closest attempt at humor that I remember in a long long time when she said : " SO you SEE, I have it from both sides of the family.!"
 I truly resisted the urge to go " OOOOOHHHHH….so that explanes the demons that  you told mother that you saw hanging around me whe I was  a teenager !"…..or "OHHHHH…so that explanes all the "paranormal or supernatural events that you have racked up over the years!"…..

Or : " OOOOOOHHH! SO that explaines that when god talks to YOU it is a devine message from the holy spirit…..but when god talks to anyone else it is demons….?"

…..Damn but I hate wasting good material !  I barely found it within myself to lamely  say….." Oh …my…"………

I didn\’t really have much chance to reply anyway before she launched on yet another gloom and doom prophesy…."Of course., this Swine Flu thing is just another sign of the end times. you know" she said.

My Tourettes Syndrome got the better of me and I blurted  " YOU MEAN LIKE THE FOUR PIGS OF THE APOCALYPSE?"

She didn\’t think it was funny………..

i just hate wasting good material !

1 Comment
  1. lvblkman63 13 years ago

     Dude is she for real?

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