Hello… I am new to this website…Here is my story for anyone who can send some positive vibes my way…I'd really appreciate it 🙂 I am 24 years old from NY.

Been going through a lot lately. I have had the Summer from hell. On June 7th, my boyfriends mother whom i am very close with had a ruptured brain aneurysm. I live with them but my boyfriend and I have our own little apartment at the house. The day she had the aneurysm I was home from work… Usually she goes to work at 7:30am but did not go that day… I assumed that since she told me the night before she had a headache she just called in to work. Since I wasn't feeling good I stayed downstairs in my apartment in bed all day… It wasn't til about 3:30pm I heard commotion upstairs… my boyfriends father got home and was pacing around upstairs next thing I knew the cops were at the house and she was found on the floor seizing. We get to the hospital that night and she had to have surgery they told us she probably wasn't going to make it… I felt a lot of guilt that I was home and didn't get her help sooner since she never went to work and her job said she never called it had to of happened early in the day. Needless to say… she survived the surgery went through the ups and downs and she made her way to rehab… after being at rehab for a day she ended up back at the hospital with 3 more brain bleeds… she had to have another surgery. She is doing okay now off feeding tube and trach. She is talking to us but she is not the same… I am so sad by it…

I was doing pretty good with coping in the beginning and then its like all of a sudden a switch was turned. 2 weeks ago I started having back panic/anxiety attacks. I couldnt breathe I was hyperventiliating, I was so jittery and edgy, I couldnt focus, didn't care about anything, i dont feel myself, feel like im in a fog.. couldn't even work! Went to the Dr. they gave me xanex but it didnt help… went back last wed and now i started lexapro… Anyone taking lexapro? having some side effects- tightness in my throat, alittle jittery. I'd wake up in the middle of the night Sometimes I feel like I just want to jump out of my body. I am on it for 4 days. Does Lexapro really work?

I think my problem stems from everything going on with my boyfriends mom right now… I just want to feel myself again. I feel bad I just don't feel like doing anything or being around anyone and my patience is so minimal. I hope I feel better soon. Any advice to help me cope as I wait for the lexapro to really take effect?? I am going to start talking to a therapist on Wednesday, hope that helps too…. UGH… Can't wait for things to get better. I am so anxious as to what the future holds with my boyfriends mom she is like my 2nd mom i have been with my boyfriend almost 8 years…

Also… how do you motivate yourself to get up and start doing things again when you just feel so lousy? I haven't cleaned or cooked or done anything. Thank God for my mom forcing me to eat and listening to me complain constantly… I lost 10lbs in 2 weeks. I am out of work for a week so I am hoping to feel refreshed and relaxed. The thought of being at work really stresses me out… Help??