I\'m my own worst enemy.  9/6/12

My name is Sarah and I\'m 21 from New Jersey. I\'ve struggled with anxiety since Iwas much younger. It\'s paralyzing. I stumbled upon this site and thought it might be helpful to have people to relate to. I started a new job yesterday, and unfortunatley I quit this morning. I have been suffering from panic attacks since I found out I got the job. This is a pattern I know all too well. This is the third time I have done this in the past few years. I don\'t go to college either because of the struggle. I would never wish this illness onto anyone, and I would love to function like a typical person. I have no problem being around my close friends but they dont know the extent of my anxiety. Large groups of people are very inimidating for me as well, and usually stops me from going certain places, even if I have support and people willing to be by my side. I\'ve been involved in therapy since i was 11 and it seems that I can\'t conquer this diagnosis. I feel very helpless and depressed. I try everyday to set goals and motivate myself but its becoming apparant thatI need more help than what I\'m getting now. Its almost as if I need to just remind myself to breathe to get through my day. My home life isn\'t exactly comfortable either. My parents are going through a divorce but we are all still living together and have been for months. Also my dad was just diagnosed with MS and he is getting worse everyday. I try to think that everything happens for areason and for some strange reason i was meant to go through these struggles for a greater purpose, but it doesnt make living a healthy daily life any easier. I have coped with my emotional illness for years but i feel very stuck and I\'m not sure how much further I can make it until I crack.