Ill try and keep this brief. I have suffered from bi-polar now for nearly 10 years,I am supposed to be controlled by medication, fat lot of good that's doing 🙁 2 n a half years ago I found out my partner of 13 years was cheating on facebook so I asked him to leave immediatly,we have 2 lovely kids together, I have held a lot of resentment towards my ex though deep down I still love him I wanted him to feel just as gutted as I did. Anyways the years have passed by and things seemed settled between us, he is a great Dad to our kids. I started seeing someone else a few months ago but the whole time I realised it felt all wrong because my hidden feelings for my ex.I never admitted this to anyone stupidly ofcourse so I ended my new relationship. Last weekend he told me when I was drunk that he is SO freakin happy with some new girl and is S0 over me, well you can imagine just how much a kick in the teeth that was.Since he told me I have felt so useless and low and quite frankly don't wanna be here anymore feeling this pain but am for my kids. The ex has just been to pick up my youngest and a huge row broke out resulting in him laughing in my face and me loosing my firey temper. I have just had a message from him telling me he hopes I die for breaking up the family and that he wants to go and live with his Dad. I called my mental health worker 4 days ago and left a message and he still hasn't called back. I'm sick of feeling so low and miserable now its been going on for way too long.I have lost over a stone in weight in a week because I have resorted back to starving myself as a way of gaining control.I am getting scared now because I want to either damage my ex or myself just to try and make myself feel better 🙁

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