i seriously just wanna die. there is no point to life like what the fuck. why do i even exists like what is the point no one fucking likes me and there is point to have me be here i am a burden. my whole life is falling apart my grades are so bad and my parents keep yelling at me and saying i’m not trying hard enough but i really am trying and i’m still doing bad i just have no motivation and then when i don’t do something i can’t go back to doing it bc i’m so lazy and have no motivation and then i don’t hand in assignment i don’t care and i keep not handing in assignments. and i’m just never happen like even with friends like whenever i’m with friends  i just want to die like i am never happy and i can’t open up to anyone not family and not friends except for one person who we talk about some of our basic problems to but no one to talk to about my deep down bad problems and even when i talk to my therapist anxiety flys out of my fucking ass and i can’t talk and it gets so awkward and i’m just am too nervous to talk about anything and i just hope it gets better bc i just started and i wanna be happy again i haven’t been happy since 5th grade like 4 years ago and i always wanna die and i have no future planned like i am so scared for like next year or like tomorrow i’m always scared bc i don’t know how i’m going to get through life like i have no future i’m not gonna get into college and idk what i want to do when i’m older like i have no future planned and my parents are so strict about it and omg my parents like i always say they don’t fight that much. but they are always fighting and someone in my family is always in a fight with someone else in my family and almost every night someone is screaming  and at this point i don’t even know what i’ve said in this at this point. like what the fuck i’m done.