So the girl who had a go at me yesterday has done it again. She has talked to my friend and got him on her side. She said he agreed with her at how I make no effort and leave her out and so I asked him about it today. He said that I should of helped her out more , been more understanding and that she's allowed to have her feelings…but when I said I feel she just uses me, he said that's not a nice thing so say. I feel like he has just turned against me and see's me as this horrible person. Everyone but him can see how he is manipulative and can be so horrible towards people. They all say I should keep away from her. Everyone but him, who I have tried to help and been there for him when no one else was. I thought we were meant to be really good friends but maybe not. He chooses her over me because he is scared. He sucks up to her so much and I feel I have no value to him. I'm so stuck right now because after talking to him I feel bad. Even though I know she has a way to get under people's skin and get them on her side and portray herself as the victim, I don't know whether to feed back into that cycle where I say sorry, but later it all starts up again. I feel maybe I could have been more understanding to her feelings and I should have forgotten about the things she has done to me and focused on that. Maybe I should say sorry… but i don't want to be her friend anymore. I want that to be the end of it… But i know it won't. She only really cares because she doesn't have many friends due to how she treats them and she's holding on to me as her last hope. I don't know whether to carry on and try and help and be nice. I just feel like my best isn't good enough for her. I'm seeing my psychiatrist later so I can work through with her about this. It feeds my depression and anxiety even more. I just feel like a horrible person for not being more understanding and being more calm…
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