So, Christmas is coming up right? I'm super excited and yet… I'm not. I've come to realize that I hate my 'family'. The only people I like in my 'family' is my brother and sister. i don't ever see my sister because she's out of her own. My brother lives with his dad so I see him more often than my sister. So I'm stuck with my mother and her boyfriend most the time. So what I really came on here to write about is Christmas traditions. We all have them, no matter how weird they are, we still stick to them. Well, the christmas before my ex step father left, ours started fading. On Christmas we used to get up like at 4 in the morning to open the presents. my brother and I the night before would watch a movie that we considered Christmasy (even if it's really not. We watched the Pacifier one year… Ha!) But when we opened the presents my mother would have the camera and I would be under my blanket. We all sleepily open the presents, one at a time going from youngest from olders, leaving the parents for last (Mom would go first when that came up). We be done like a couple hours later and we'd clean up. My brother would start playing with all of his presents and I'd go back to sleep! Ha. But last year, we didn't do hardly any of that. My brother was at his dad's house and we really couldn't. Although I understand that. It was just some of the traditions that we could have kept that year, we didn't.

Then this year comes along. We aren't doing the stockings like we usually do… Something that I really like because we have so much trouble getting out everything. It's funny to watch everyone struggle. My mother's boyfriend is here and got his kids like a butt load of presents… i don't know if they are coming or not but I REALLY don't want them to come. They are just…. Ugh! The worst. You will never understand until you meet them. If they come then we say good bye to all the traditions, which we are doing. I don't like it!!!! I REALLY DON'T F-ING LIKE IT! I like the traditions. There is a reasons for the traditions. It's so you fee stable and secure and sane. And what is my mother doing? THROWING THEM OUT THE WINDOW LIKE THEY ARE TRASH! I can't wait to get out of the f-ing place. So I can do what I want, when I want, how ever I wasnt. I'm just… I'm done…

1 Comment
  1. Andie372 9 years ago

     Sorry you're struggling.  I am struggling right now to keep the traditions up in my family.  It's like walking through molasses but I do it because even though the kids are grown and my son is on his own, we put up the tree and the stockings.  And we cook our special Christmas dinner., because they expect it.  And my son has a little girl, she's 7 and I want her to remember having a good time at Grandma's.  


    I wish your mother could pull it together for you.  Is she going through depression herself?  Maybe she has a reason for letting go of past things.  

    0 kudos

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