So things didn't go quite as planned yesterday…but I still got out of the house and then went to dinner with my family. We had a nice, relaxing evening full of good food and some jokes. It was nice for me especially because the 4 of us are never all together. My Mom usually doesn't want to go, but I finally managed to talk her into it.

The news about my Aunt's llama came in yesterday afternoon ~ it was definitely rabies. The CDC is even involoved; they're in an uproar because this is only the 2nd case in the U.S. of a llama catching the disease and they're trying to prove it's fradulent. Why would someone want to lie about a llama dying from rabies?! To me that's one of the most absurd and ridiculous things I've ever heard.

My aunt is afraid thata reporter will show up at her house and try to interview her. She lives in a small town and word travels fast. I hope they don't try to make an insane little story about this to broadcast. (sigh) My poor aunt. We're still waiting to find out if she should get the shots or not. If it were me I'd go ahead and do it just to be safe, but it's not so I can'tforceher todo anything. I just hope Cookie (the miniature horse) doesn't have it too. They found what may have been a bite mark on her from Topaz, but there's no way of knowing if and until she develops symptoms, which could take months. I didn't realize that rabies can lay low in your system and then all of a sudden it goes full blown and infects the brain. This whole thing is sad… :"-(

I am up again before dawn is really near. 3:30 a.m. and 4:30 a.m. seem to be my set wake-up times. I don't know why it's such a problem ~ I go to bed around 10 p.m., so why am I waking up so early? After this I think I'm going to try to go back to sleep for a few more hours. Today we're going to do errands and such so I need the rest before we get going. Amazing how just a trip to town and a couple stores simply wear me out to the point of having to take a nap. My eyes end up bloodshot like I haven't slept in days,I get bags big enough to hold the contents of my purse, and I end up snoozing with my chin on my chest or head against the window on the way home. I'm just exhausted. I wish I knew what was causing this.

Heather, I'll be careful and take your advice about not making myself hypomanic by triggering itby doingtoo much. I've done that before and the drop afterward really stinks. Thanks for reminding me aboutthat aspect of it ~ Ihad forgotten about it.

I think one of the hardest things about bipolardisorderis that for me, most of the time, I am stuck in depression of some sort. But when I DO feel good, I have to be wary of it and question if it's normal or hypomanic. A lot of times I won't go to the doctor when I'm hypomanic because I don't want tranquilizers that are going to make me a zombie ~ and in my experience that's what those meds do. Not to mention I feel great for a few days, which is almost like a pay-off for going through months of depression. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up my hypomanic times even though I know it would be better for me if I did by calling the doctor and taking the medicines he gives me. I just want to feel good likeeveryone else wants to.

We mailed off the first set of SSD documents yesterday. I wonder if therewill be more to do. I'm almost sure they're not done questioning me and my doctors yet, that would be just too simple. I've already been turned down for SSDI because my husband makes too much money. I find that ironic considering that we're almost broke all of the time.

I hope everyones' day starts well and stays that way. I'm going back to bed for awhile.

((((HUGS))))