Hi buddies,

Well, I thought since I'm having a lot of shortness of breathe, frequent migraines, nightmares, loss of appetite, and currently on the verge of a panic attack, that it might be a good idea to give a shout out in a place where I always feel safe. Let me explain my situation: I'M BROKE. I have NO MONEY, my fiance Eric is supporting the both of us right now, he has a really good job and I don't plan on leaving things this way by any means, but right now I have no choice. I had been looking for more bs jobs seeing as how in this economy and also due to the field that I'm in, that's the best I can get right now. I applied all over the place, walked into stores, handed them my resume, called places, did the monster.com thing, nothing. After a while I couldn't help but feel like it was strange that I was getting turned away everywhere that I applied to. I'm not rude, I don't have a criminal backround, I would think I'm a pretty nice person, so what the hell? Then, I called a place near me where I thought I should inquire abour art teaching jobs. I met with the woman whp ran this small little art and music school and she tells me that sheis looking for someone to take her place in running the school. She told me that she wanted to train me for that position and that in a month if she thought that I was cut out for the job, that we would sign a contract and she would hire me. I was ecstatic! A full time ART JOB, no way. She told me that she was going to be training me in public speaking, banking, managing, and teaching. So I tell Eric, and he says what a wonderful opportunity this is for me and I did agree with him until I spoke to my friend about it. He told me that the whole thing sounded "fishy" and that he doesn't think I would be good at running a school and so on. Then I started thinking of the whole situation again. She has not paid me yet for any of this training. Last week was my first week. What she had me do was a lot of research about topics having to do with public education in NJ and the entire US, financing, and controversial topics about why art and music eduation is dissapearing from schools, how its effecting our society and so forth, so it's all research that I can see is important to know if you're running a school…but I'm ust worried that she is trying to scam me. What if my friend Mike is right and this whole situation is "fishy." I have not beenpaid yet for any of these hours or research that she's been telling me to take notes on and read through. She had me come to two of her classes so far so that I can watch how she teaches and jott down some notes, but still there has been no mention of money. She told me at the interview to write down the hours I am putting in with the "training" and that I would be an Intern for the first month, but that I would still be getting paid….but why hasn't she mentioned anything about payment yet? Does this look or sound bad? I'm just really experiencing a lot of anxiety because while I do enjoy working with her and Eric keeps telling me to stop worrying about money right now, I can't help but feel overly anxious about the whole thing. This position is a lot of responsibility and I almost feel like the whole opportunity came out of nowhere, but I do still want to persue it…I just don't want to get scammed and be cheated out of my time or hard work, but if I walk away from an ooportunity like this what am I going to do? The best job or career opportunities for me right now is maybe subsittue teaching. Other than that there's really nothing better. I'm also afraid that someone like me who ususally has a lot of problems focusing, staying organized and motivated, is not good for a big responsibility like this, but I hope I'm wrong. Does this sound off? My parents keep telling me to tell this woman to pay me immediatly for all the studying she's having me do and Eric says just the opposite and to hang in there because this can be something really wonderful for me….I just don't know what to think. I'm afraid that I'm being fooled or taken advantage or cheated but I don't know