Ever since I left secondary school, other than my friend who has been a great friend for 5 wonderful years, I haven't told anyone else about my suicidal past. I didnt want it to bring me down or make me look and feel weak. I didn't want any symathy from anybody because of that story. I don't want them to treat me, respect me with that story in their mind, like they have to be nice to me just because of my story. I have lived a wonderful 3 years of not dwelling in the past and not telling anybody about it from the point when I left a hell hole nightmare in school. It's not that I want to keep the story a secret, I just don't bring it up. I don't want to talk about my story. It does nothing to me but to keep me strong and quite motivated every time. I dont see a reason why I need to tell the new people I meet about my story. Whats important is the now and what I am now! What brings me to think this is, what if somebody asks about my story? Will I be able to cope when I tell my story? Makes me wonder what will happen if I told my story to new friends I make, to the friends I have made in the past 3 years. Will I be treated differently?

I have witnessed this before. A friend I have known for 3 years (right after I finished that hell school) and another friend a year later. The first friend, was told from the second friend about her story, a ridiculous suicidal story, she got treated differently. She treated her like she can't make her sad, she can't make her cry, she has to do what she says or she will cry. The "suicidal friend" was pitied on. I wouldnt want to be treated like that. Sure you will be treated nicely, kind etc, but I dont want to get that treatment by telling them "I was suicidal". I want to be treated based on how they see me now because of who I am, what I am, my personaility, quality, everything good about me. Not because of my story.

Your story shoudn't define who you are.

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