I am tired. My thoughts come and go in waves so it is hard to grasp them. Just as one rolls in another rushes in behind it and pushes to the front so that I can't seem to focus on just one. Sometimes the waves slow a bit and I reach my mental hand out to take hold of one but the tide rushes back out and it slips through my fingers.I am left with just droplets of a hundred different thoughts but not enough of any one of them to form anything solid. I have noticed that since I stopped taking the zoloft along with the Luvox that I am not nearly as on top of my game as I was before. The combination of Zoloft and Luvox eats though my stomach like acid, but sometimes I think it is worth that gnawing pain in my gut just to have my head calm even for a moment. For the first time in my life the rage has faded for hours at a time. Well, it did when I was still taking both the meds. Now it is sneaking back into my head. The anxiety cloaks it and lets it ride on its tails. How clever they are to team up like that. The anxiety punches me. Then when I am down, they tag team me andrage jumps in the ring. Well youknow what? I know you, old friend. I know you better than anyone. I know how you work and I know where you live. One of these days I will get my fill of you and rip you out of me with my bare hands. Just when you think you have gotten the best of me, you will find yourself cold and alone out in the big dark world. I will snatch you out of my cozy brain and leave you to diealone and forgotten.
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