Do you have any pets? A strong willed male Tabby cat
What color shirt are you wearing? Grey and black
Name three things that are physically close to you: My computer (O’ RLY?), an empty tub of Parkay, a notepad
What is the last book you read? The Bible
Are you or were you a good student? Yes
What’s your favorite sport? Football
Do you enjoy sleeping late? Yes
What’s the weather like right now? Warm and Clear
Who tells the best jokes? Jeff Foxworthy and Chris Rock
What was the last thing you dreamed about? Having shards of glass in every part of my body
Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes, had a fender bender, but not a crash
Do you believe in karma? Only is the sense of “fan karma,” and really it’s God teaching us humility by making our favorite teams suck.
Do you believe in luck? Nope, but I use that word a lot anyway.
Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up? Scrambled
Do you collect anything? If so, what? I collect autographs of my favorite celebrities and athelets.
Are you proud of yourself? Not really
Are you reliable? Not really
Have you ever given money to a bum? Yeah, until I found out they use it to buy beer and tobacco.
What’s your favorite food? The flesh of birds and pasta
Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yeah, in primary school.
Do you like the smell of gasoline? Yeah, but Diesel is better.
Do like to draw? Yes
What’s your favorite invention? The airplane
Is your room messy? My whole apartment is messy.
What do you like better: oranges or apples? Apples to eat whole, orange juice to drink.
Do you give in easily? To telemarketers and used car salesmen, yes.
Are you a good guesser? Not really.
Can you read other people’s expressions? I think so.
Are you a bully? I think I’m the opposite of that.
Do you have a job? That’s a good question…well, right now yes.
What time did you wake up this morning? Noon
What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Yes
When was the last time you showered? Around noon today
What do you plan on doing tomorrow? IDK
What’s your favorite day of the week and why? Sunday, because I love spending time at church and watching sports.
Do you have any nicknames? Yes (you want me to share them, don’t you? Okay, Porkchops, Chucky, Snoop Joely Joel, etc.)
Have you ever been scuba diving? No
What’s your least favorite color? Maize, especially when combined with Blue in a big block M.
Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who? Multiple someones, and I’m not telling.
Would you ever go skydiving? No, why jump out of a perfectly good airplane?
What toothpaste do you use? Whatever I can get for a buck.
Do you enjoy challenges? Sure
What’s the worst injury you have had? Sprained my foot and ankle in college
What’s the last movie you saw? The Prestige
What do you want to know about the future? Nothing, really.
What does your last text message say? Hello, how are you?
Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to? My doctor
What’s your favorite school subject? Science
What’s your least favorite school subject? English
Would you rather have money or love? Love
What is your dream vacation? Miami beach with a sexy massage therapist
What is your favorite animal? Horses, because they don’t have strong wills, unlike cats
Do you miss anyone right now? Not really
What’s the last sporting event you watched? The Aaron’s 499
Do you need to do laundry? Yes
Do you listen to the radio? Yes
Where were you when 9/11 happened? In college, on my way to class.
What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Never happened
Have you ever caught a butterfly? No
What color are your bed sheets? Light blue
What’s your ringtone? Generic
Who was the last person to make you laugh? Wendy Wesley, who sent me a funny e-mail message.
Do you have any obsessions right now? IDK
Do you like things that glow in the dark? Sure
What’s your favorite fruity scent? I don’t like any fruity scents.
Do you watch cartoons? Yes, but only online now
Have you ever sat on a roof? No
Have you ever been to a different country? Yes, if Canada counts.
Name three things in the world you dislike: abortion on demand, the radical animal rights movement, Antisemitism
Name three people in the world you dislike: Speaker of the House Nanci Pelosi, Rev. Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church, the President of Iran
Has a rumor even been spread about you? Yes
Do you like sushi? Haven’t really tried it.
Do you believe in magic? It’s all either slight of hand, illusions, subliminal manipulation, or demonic activity.
Do you hold grudges? Yes, but I shouldn’t.
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