People in general confide to me. I don't know, I just make them comfortable I guess. Many people have told me that.Maybe cause I am such a mess that they don't feel judged by me! Most probably because I am open minded, but my philosophy is not to judge someone unless you have worked in their shoes, which is impossible, we are all unique. There are profound reasons why we are who we are. I love that peopleare confortable with me, because I feel it is flattering that they put this trust in me. And I take it very seriously. I feel responsible for people who confide to me. The whole mother Teresa thing?No because they bring so much to me in return. Those who confide the most often turn out to be the most loyal friends. I am surprised at all people have told me and how much I can count on them when I fuck up in my own life. Sometimes however, I also feel worried for them and it affects me. But I would not change my superpower for anything in the world because the human soul is the most beautiful thing, even when it's dark.
And once again, it seems my poz friends are the most precious friendships I have, because they are so genuine. No bullshit about I am successful, pretty and happily married or whatever success standard there is. Maybe I identify also to them and my gay friends because I am a non conformist. But I don't say that to look cool; I never fitted, that never was what I wanted, what I felt confortable in, from early on. And yet I long for a simple and healthy relationship! 🙂 Contradiction, contradiction would say a certain friend of mine. Or is it?
I kind of gave up on meeting anyone. A close friend of mine is positive. He was my friend before he was positive, so it's not what brought us together. It was meknocking at his door one night and asking what was for dinner, the start of a 15 years friendship, all of my adult life. He is like family, came to my family parties. Over the years, we often talked of having a kid together, if I ended up single at 35 yo I think it was. He is gay, so I would have absolutely no romantic interest. I think he would be the perfect dad. Present just enough, but not too much. lol And I feel it would be the most beautiful present to give him. I am getting to 35, hormones screaming. I fear a little giving up my romantic life and all my activities, but I have 2 girl friends who did it totally alone. I think his husband might also be jealous… but maybe I could convince him. I know he likes me. My best friend brought back the topic tonight and I may just be ready for that. I would probably give myself a few months, until november… I don't want to promise him and then hurt him if I met someone. It is a serious decision, I realize. We would have to discuss financial and shared custody issues, etc.
Are there implications I am not seeing? Anyone has an experience with that?