I’m shaken up. All I can hear is that guy shouting bad words about me. I don’t want to write what he said in case I reread what I write, and to hear it again in my head. I remember the anxiety and the hopelessness…

Haha =( It’s probably not what you think at this point in my blog. It’s something lame…cuz I don’t think you’d be in that sort of situation like I was, unless you’re like me…which I doubt you are.

This incident would definitely be in my room 1408. If you plan on watching the movie “1408,” I don’t know what I might reveal here, so if you don’t want to risk having me ruin it for you, stop reading here. I can’t believe that I watched another scary movie, after I had said that I shouldn’t, after watching “Silent Hill.”

“1408” was scary at the beginning, when things started to happen in the room. Thought to myself that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to watch it afterall, cuz of how I’d feel for the rest of the night. It was so spooky. The things that happened were done without you seeing who was doing them, I think that was what made it so scary. It was realistic that way. Then afterwards, things became how scary movies typically are. And then the rest of the scary things that happened were all different types of situations that you can get yourself into, the only thing being scary is the fact that you have to deal with those things, trapped in a room, e.g. flooding…I don’t know if that made sense, but, i.e. you can’t run, and they didn’t involve the paranormal, except for who’s controlling the events.

The movie became personal. It basically was a movie about internal conflict within a man, and having to face it all in a physical sense. The room was tormenting him with things from his life that he’s been trying to avoid. They brought him to tears, and I cried with him…I sat between the 2 people I was with, and had thought, “Great…This is the type of movie I watch ALONE.” I made it through most of the movie with the tears welling and then drying in my eyes whenever the sad moments occurred, but the part where his daughter appears, and he was holding her tightly in his arms, and it happens again…that was too much, and a couple tears ran down my face. I didn’t move though, cuz didn’t want the people beside me to know.

His attitude towards life is like mine. He was cynical and sarcastic, and then when things were happening, he was all in denial about reality, saying that “it’s all in my head.” I could relate to John Cusack’s character. And having your belief in something shatter, and your whole perception about life (at least some of it) changes…

Again, the part where I see him suspended midway, neither surface nor deep, in water…does something to me inside.

I had thought what the character did at the end was so clever…I remember thinking similar thoughts. Like, yeah, if you’re forced to go, take the forcer down with you…But it just occurred to me that how is it that what Mike did in the ending could affect the room when all those other things were happening? And when his wife said that the hotel people checked in the room and couldn’t see him, then….??? The that means that he really wasn’t there, so how could he do anything, do you get what I mean? Haha, no?

And when the room was all torn to pieces, it reflected what was left of him. All those things that had happened in the room was like the way I probably feel a lot of the time, only in metaphorical physical forms. We’re all just trapped in our rooms. We try and try to claw ourselves out of the feelings and thoughts that we drown ourselves in…but we’re stuck. He was stuck. He had thought that he escaped at one point in the movie, and I had thought that if that’s the ending of the movie, then it’s disappointing. But I knew there was one part seen in the trailer that was not shown yet, so it couldn’t have been over…Anyway, he thought he escaped, only to find himself again in that room, and that is aaaalllll too familiar a feeling for me. How many times have I risen from depths of despair and then fallen back? Too many. And when he loses it…haha, yeah…familiar too. Frustration and self-loathing.

So sad the ending…but I don’t think I would’ve had it any other way…I wish I got something else from that movie…like how to look at life or something. Something inspiring, an epiphany. (Wow, I still have my Grade 12 terms somewhere in this mush-filled skull.) Something that changed me at least for the rest of this day…but no. Haha, one of the people who I went to see this movie with said that what he got from this movie was that all you need to do is CONCENTRATE. Haha.

You know what? Maybe I DID get something out of this movie…Well, something awful happened in the parking lot too, and it had me shaken up, and I had written it all out, but will be removing it from this blog, and it’s made me realize: My summer is almost over. What state am I in? Any better? Nope. I think I’m going to drop most of what I’ve been trying to achieve, and I’m gonna have to find a way to make myself emotionally stronger. I can’t find myself heading back into school in September still unstable…But what if I don’t find my way even in the slightest way? I know that I’d probably be beating myself up about how I wasted this summer…*sigh* I don’t know.

I don’t know what to do.

Back to the topic of the movie — This movie…hmmm. It’s not exactly the typical horror movie…It’s definitely suspenseful. I think that it’s mostly scary because of the loud sounds in the theatre — the startling. My rating is —> ?. Haha…I am not quite sure how I feel about this movie. I was trying to decide during the movie, and it was “yeah, this is disappointing,” and then “…No, it’s pretty good…” The events in the movie was a rollercoaster. But…ummmm, I think it just might be the best horror movie I’ve seen? …Maybe? Perhaps? I don’t know? Not the scariest, though…or is it? *shrug*

If you’re emotionally unstable, I think you shouldn’t watch it. I kinda was. Wait till you’re stronger, I guess…But this all depends how in-depth that you interpret movies, or how easily you relate yourself to characters in movies. Maybe stick to “Transformers,” which was what we had planned to watch. I thought it was the better choice because, haha, I thought it was more light-hearted. 😛

P.S. Is the girl in the movie, the girl in “The Ring”?? She looks so familiar.