So this is my first blog. I found this website a while ago and sort of forgot about it. But I recently remembered it, and so I got back on and set everything up. Now, I am going to write my first blog about one of my problems today. First of all, some background, I’m a teenage girl. Today was a sunny day, everyone is waiting for school to finish and getting excited for summer break. And I don’t know, I’m just not really excited.  I’ve been feeling out of it for the past couple of weeks. Most of the time my worst days are the weekends, that’s when I feel the worst. I spend a whole day sometimes in my room crying, having a breakdown in my room. So, I think what makes these days worse for me personally, is if they are sunny. Sometimes, like memorial day, i’ll have a good day. I enjoy the sun and go to the beach etc. But, most of the time if I am not having a good day, having it be sunny and bright outside just adds a whole other level of surrealism and just odd feelings on top of my already sad mood. Because I’ll be crying and I’ll look up out the window and i’ll be thinking that sunny days are suppose to be days everyone loves. Sunny days are the days people enjoy, and take advantage of by going outside and having fun. That thought makes me feel so much worse. Me knowing that Sunny days are happy, but ultimetly feeling sad and run down, or just mentally done, gives me some weird vibes. Vibes like everything feels fake and weird, and it’s really not a pleasant feeling. I like cloudy/rainy/stomry days because I feel like it can fit my mood. I feel like if I’m crying while it’s raining outside it gives me more of a sense of, oh this is normal, the weather is depressing so I can be as well. I really don’t like the surreal feeling I’ve been having for the past couple weeks though. It’s not normal, well normal by my standards that it. It is different to just sadness and depression it’s like something is just wrong, everything feels like its slightly off. I just wish there was a way to sort out my thoughts because lately everything has been so confusing, hence my username. It’s just I naturally overthink everything so having emotions I don’t really understand makes me want to think about them over and over againt until I can come up with an answer. An answer to what exactly I am feeling, and why. But I cant because I don’t even think my emotions have words for them. There are not known words to describe how I feel sometimes. It’s all so confusing that sometimes my mind just feels so tired from the lack of understanding everything in life.

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