Today is the first day I’ve been to school in a month. Spring Break lasted two weeks, but that doesn’t really apply to me. I come in and work on my shit when I want, but the problem is I haven’t wanted to for a while. I spent hours on this assignment, submitted it, just to get the lowest mark ever because I “missed something”. I emailed the teacher the “Missed Somethings” and that was a month ago. She still hasn’t gotten back to me and I’m angry. My grade is still low, even though I sent her the missing assignments so I guess It’s out of my hands now.

I miss Beth still, of course. I’ve been thinking about her too much lately, opening her box late at night and smelling her shirt. I stalk her Instagram a few times a day, and yeah, maybe that isn’t healthy. I talked to her yesterday, someone made her upset and my first instinct is to protect her but I can’t. I hate when she’s feeling like this, but it’s not my responsibility to save her.

I had a good conversation with my casual friend about religion. She’s been teaching me about the bible and what Jehovah witness is, and I find it interesting. I myself am not a religious person, but I’m open to anything. I believe people have their own versions of the truth and not one thing is right. I believe some of the stuff, but other’s I don’t and that’s okay. I don’t have to offend her, I respect her for taking the time to teach me. My mom keeps warning me to be careful and don’t get caught up in anything “culty” but I think I’m fine for now.

The girl I had a connection with from group goes to this school. But I guess I didn’t take into consideration that she hangs out with the “popular kids” and wouldn’t be seen dead talking to me at school. Which is fine, I understand that. It just sucks because I believe we have enough of a connection to start a friendship, but all that self love is going to me.

Yoga, meditation, school work, tea, full house…Maybe not in that order.



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