I’m sure i have the above – i want to be involved with people less and less these days – i spend hours just sitting looking out my window – watching all the folks and couples go by – wondering what i have done to deserve finding the love of my life – only to have her taken from me by cancer after a few years ??

i know i will never meet any one else – i was alone from birth till i met her – no one ever wanted me – never got to be a team player – i was always sidelined – so went my own way – then i met the most fantastic woman in the world – married and for a while – despite her disability and illness was happy – now that has gone and i am back to being alone

women don’t want me as i have nothing to offer them – no one wants to employ me – as i am disabled – and when i go round town – i am invisible – all people see – if indeed they see is a guy on a mobility scooter – few if any ever talk to me – i have no friends – bar one and she is 300 miles away – my family don’t give a shit – i cant go out at night as i cant drive now – and there are too many assholes about to risk going out on my scooter

so here i sit – getting to hate people more and more – just going through the motions of each day – waiting for death to come and take me – well at least i will either see my wife again or there will be nothing

even that would be better than this so called life – and if it where not for a promise i made to my wife to care for the family pets – then i would end it all

i don’t want your pity or sympathy – i don’t want psychological clap trap counselling – i just want the world to stop – so i can get the hell off !!