My name is bree Potter, I’m 15 years old. When I was 3 years old i was diagnosed with diabetes, that wasn’t my fault. My father has been a drug addict my entire life. I didn’t meet him tell i was seven years old. He and my mom got married when i was 9 after he got sober. When i was 11 he started doing drugs again, and hid it from my mom but i knew. Then 2 years ago when we were supost to move down with my family, before me and my mom got down there he quit his job and cheated on my mom. My mom being extreme christian after all this happened she still pushed for them to be together, dispite me not wanting it. They finally got divorced last january. But still to this day pushes me to have a relation, even though he doesn’t. Growing up with diabetes I’ve always struggled with my weight, which lead me to being bullied from third grade to now. Growing up without my father as a child I developed anxiety, anger issues, dression, abandonment issues, trust issues, and the deep need to defy authority. Which lead me to counseling for most of life, not having many friends, and to afraid to ask for help. My mother being Christian forced me to celebrate a religion I don’t believe in. When I was diagnosed with clinical depression, my mother refused to believe it, and never got me real help. I have one older brother who always did what he was told and was extremely smart. So I was also always being compared to him. This all lead to me trying to kill myself 6 months ago, and when I finally worked up the courage to tell my mother, she said the world had no place for the weak, and I was going to hell. Everyday I wake up with suicidal thoughts, constantly being judged, overweight, and having to stick needles in my body, because of my diabetes. After getting in a fight with my mother today over what we we’re having dinner, I punched a whole in my wall. I realised I need to get help.
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Breepotter6, ***hugs*** . My heart goes out to you in having to put up with that….(mess). Ahem.
i’m not going to try and make excuses for your mom’s behavior. i will tell ya, though, sometimes adults tend to get into religion as an escape or to help find some purpose in life, other than being a parent or taking care of what needs doing first. It sounds kinda cruel, but hey, call a spade a spade, right?! Brainwashing goes on a LOT in religious groups–i don’t think any of them are ‘safe’ beyond reproach, at this point. i can understand the anger and punching the wall. *sigh Been there, done that–did not make it right, nor did it fix the hole! lol Parents aren’t perfect, either. Is there any person in your life that you can trust enough to talk with/share what’s going on in your life? Are you on any medication other than for the diabetes? Other than punching, how else have you noticed that you ‘cope’?
Means a lot that u commented. Thank you!! When I was first diagnosed I wanted medicine, but lately since I’ve been trying to get real help, I’ve been trying get my emotions out in a more effective way, without being doped, because I don’t want to end up like my dad. I now take pictures, and write poetry. Except for yesterday it’s actually been really working for me, and helps me get my emotions out, in a creative way.