I was just browsing polls cause I made one I found amusing the other day and I was curious to see how peple had responded – but in hindsight, lots of people were probably offended by it.

THEN, I see this other poll which asks if people come here just to harass others and don\'t actually have anxiety or something. And that makes me anxious in 2 ways:

1. I had never considered that before and now I\'m like – holy shit, I wonder how many people have read my blogs that were pretty personal, or whom I\'ve spoken with privately who might have just been messing with me. But then my rational side is like, umm, who would do that? And if someone even thought to do that, they wouldn\'t spend loads of time on here – this site can\'t be THAT exciting for someone who doesn\'t benefit from it/relate to the others on here. And also, I just think so many of you are so great and you\'ve helped me a lot over the past – oh gosh, what has it been now, 3 weeks now? (that\'s it?) – that i just know that it\'s ridiculous to think that someone would come here just to ridicule/harass us

2. MAYBE it was MY poll that incited the second poll about saboteurs!! Maybe someone thinks I\'m the troll because I made a dumb poll that amused me for about 2 seconds and then I forgot about it until now. Probably that\'s it.

More probably, i\'m just crazy. I over analyse things way too much and I have a fucking research paper that was due yesterday that I am only 1/3 of my way through and I\'m thinking about ANYTHING but that paper. What is wrong with me?? Why do I have to drag everything out and make life hard for myself? Why is me fear of failure CAUSING me to fail?

Oh right – I\'m suffering from anxiety and I lack good strategies to help myself in this situation. Well, shit.