Tonight I had my Dinner and a Movie, well the movie will be later…My day is going well…it has presented is own share of unique situations,  I started out by delibertly changing my routine and staying in bed til 6:30am, then I did my  normal stuff as unhurried as I could and still make it to my 8am meeting with time to spare…from there it was a quick walk to Cindy and Bill's which is where I was working today…I have worked for their Mom for a couple of years…mostly handyman type stuff…today was not different, after bill left Cindy at some point had ordered lunch for us from the Sub Shop, as we were eating (the work day was pretty much over, and I was waiting for Bern to come pick my up for an appointment she had) Cindy said her back was hurting and proceeded to get out her bottle of methadone whick she popped a few and then chased them down with a "Mikes Hard lemonade" I saw this happening and didnt give it a second thought…Then it hit me…HOLY Shit I cant be here…I have to leave, I dont want to go back to that way of life…Though the money is great and cash under the table, it is not where I need to be,  I nicely told Cindy I had to leave and would like to be paid for the day…She obliged and when Bern called though I felt bad about the loss of potential income…I could not remain there in that Environment.  I guess some people forget how little it takes to tempt, or should I say get the wheels turning in an Addicts head…Bern and I had some really good conversations regarding moving on today…It is going to be somewhat of a struggle for me, at least as I see it now…but I am sure as my councilling progresses and my Step Work moves forward things will fall into place as I work for them…I also encountered a few people from my past today, I didnt know that I was missed or should I say "Am Missed"…Today I am greatful for Sobriety…life…Good food that I enjoy tasting, a life not dominated by excess, and the Involvement of my Higher Power in my life…Oh and the Fellowship I have found here…

1 Comment
  1. old_crazy_woman 15 years ago

    thanks so much for sharing this….it made me smile…ocw

     

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