I watched a Tony Robbins documentary recently…. because why not.

In it, there was a short section that really spoke to me- about what inspires change.  Normally when people say “it took me three months to make this decision”, it’s actually a couple months of weighing options, but the decision was made rather quickly (as soon as the facts were known, basically).

Additionally, Tony talked about what leads to that dramatic change in someone’s life.  There’s a ton of priorities in our daily lives… things that we’d like to do, or rather the “want-to-do’s”.  Those sometimes get done… but not always.  It’s nice to have, but not essential.

Then there are the “must-do” things.  The things we have to do; the things that burn in our minds, setting our bodies on fire.  The things that feel as necessary as breathing.  The things we cannot live without.  The things we sacrifice for.

So… what’s the difference?  How do I change something from a “want-to-do” into a “must-do”?  Usually there’s some kind of event or realization…. and the more deep that realization, the more likely something changes into a “must”.  Sometimes you have to get to a point of saying “NEVER AGAIN!” before you can change.

And then we prioritize that “must-do” above all of the other “wants” in our lives.  We will sacrifice whatever it takes to get those things.  Everything else gets pushed aside- we make the time.  We find the energy.  We stick it out.

Before a couple of days ago, my wife was nearly always a “want”.  Self-improvement was a “want”.  Getting my shit together was a “want”.  Fitness was a “want”.

It cannot be anymore.

Over the past 48 hours, my life ended.  It burst into flames, and left nothing but ashes behind.  The discovery and realization of what truly happened… that was certainly an event of life-changing proportions.

I must now figure out a way to become a Phoenix, and rise from those ashes.

I MUST get my shit together.
I MUST be the man my wife had desired for years, and I “wanted” to be.

Fuck wanting.  I’m doing.  It started that night, and it’ll continue doing it like I should have all along.  I cannot live like I have been, because I will never again be so helpless and hapless and such a piece of garbage to another human being that I claim to love.

Make no mistake – I am going to stumble, and fall, and then have to get back up again and keep going.  It’s not going to be easy… but it’ll be worth it.

The decision has been made.  This, and the work I put in over the following months, will be for the rest of my life.

I must.