My last story was cut off. I guess I didn't copy/paste the whole thing, or I ran out of room.

Either way I'm putting them here again. I wrote them after key moments, while coming to terms with my daughter's death.

I hope they touch someone.


PS – My girlfriend is back, a little saner, and still sober.

She celebrated one year on May 20th.


I held a child today


I stood in front of the mirror, and looked into my face;


I wondered just how far, had I fallen from Grace?


But my God is forgiving, He's loving and mild;


And today He allowed me to hold a child.


It has been so long, over two decades ago;


When I lost my child, the hardest of blows.


Then through the years of anger and ire;


Until I finally surrendered, I was just too tired.


Then turning over my will, and giving it to Him;


Was the start of the miracles; the journey begins.


But TODAY, was the day, a monumental event;


When into my arms, from Heaven was sent.


A BEAUTIFUL child, Gerber couldn't ask for more;


When I held her, I wondered, what does God have in store?


I had gone by my job, I had to see Mrs. Cook;


She had money to give me, which she took from a book.


But before she could get it, she turned and she said,


Do you mind holding her, she's already been fed.


In her hands was the daughter of their mother’s son;


"I'll take her right back, just as soon as I'm done."


I explained that it's been awhile, many years to be true;


She smiled and she said, it's easy to do.


It's like riding a bicycle, you never forget;


Now put out your arms, don’t worry, don’t fret.


Then into my arms, was placed a new life;


The last time that happened, it was done by my wife.


Her skin was like silk, her eyes soft & mild;


It'd been 20 years, since I'd held a child


As I held this infant, who smelled like milk and baby;


I thought I'd never again feel it, but now thought;


Just maybe.


Because when I lost Joy, my heart had been broken;


And the healing before now, had been just a token.


You see healing my pain, had for so long been a goal;


But in an instant, this child, has made my heart whole.


I held a child today.


Thank you, Rootie


Visiting Day

 By CharlieG 

I've made my way, across a hot scorched prairie;


To this very spot, where I must unbury.


Memories laid to rest, that have been put into the ground;


What I had fought to untangle, I am now once again, bound.


It's rope drawn so tight, it cuts into my skin;


I might loosen it a little, but I will never win.


My burden's shouldered, and this I must carry;


As I enter the cemetery.


The memories come, I can't make them leave;


They are here to make certain, I remember to grieve.


Show's over, curtains drawn, no more acting brave;


As I slowly approach, my little girl's grave.


Now sitting beside her, telling Joy how I feel;


How can I describe it?  It's feeling surreal.


Then I give her my chip, and tell her I'm trying;


I tell her everything’s great! But she knows that I'm lying.


So I cry for awhile, the father bereaved:


Then climb to my feet and get ready to leave




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