I have a counselling book. I've been studying up on my counselling skills, the book is called "Counselling Skills By Bob Shebib."

The poem or story which I had typed out on my blog WAS NOT written by me! And it had nothing to do with a post which was made by another member! It's a part of my book! Perhaps that was bad timing, as another member here was concerned of what was said …

I had thought it to be clever. I had even anticipated posting other quotes from the book on here. It never occurred to me that it could tie into another post, but believe me, I told that one member that it was my own cognitive thought process, I would not have said it if I didn't mean it. Honestly. This other member has done NOTHING wrong and was very fair. I'm very sorry for my error and how close it tied in. I'm also very sorry that they felt compelled to delete their posts when their posts had been well thought out and could have benefitted us all. I never meant to contribute to the overall stress, so it all backfired me.

The second chapter on my counselling book is called "Pseudo-Counselling". It's based on counsellors who fail to counsel their clients properly! (Ie; advice giving, Rescuing, Tension Reducers, Taking Over, False Reassurance, Unnnecessary Protection, Ect.) I know we're not all counsellors here. But I thought maybe it'd give us all something to think about, especially because we are the ones largely effected by counselling.

So, why did I post the quote? Well, it's the first quote in my book – so it was the first one given, and secondly, I had thought it to apply to everyone here. Who here hasn't been given advice or shot down because they haven't been irriational? Who here hasn't felt their feelings weren't trampled over? Sadly, when I referred to all this, it was never meant to refer to anybody on this community. I thought it to be clever because we all feel compelled to help people, or give advice (and believe me, I'm sure we've all asked for it!), and people assume counselling is advice giving, when it certainly is not. I suppose I had anticipated that people would be like; "Good work" or something silly.  But again, on my lack of judgement, I stirred trouble. For this, I owe a hug apology. At the request of the person, I have removed the poem. I'll probably be quoting others, but I ensure that they do not personally apply to anyone here.

Sorry for contributing to an unstable community and for being a hypocrite. Especially sorry for that one member, I have caused you a bit of stress and possibly caused you to self doubt yourself…(possibly, you may be perfectly fine but I feel awful.)

Sorry for even making a blog, but the member has taking away any form of contact for me and I hope they'll run into this. I don't blame them. I'd do the same.

Sorry for even saying sorry one hundred times, it's like my own compulsion to wash myself of it, when it serves no purpose no matter how many times I dish it out…

 Anyway, I'll leave this where it is.

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Beyond the events which unfolded online, I recently had some 'new' news given to me. My younger sister has informed me that my Father is looking for apartments close to his work (an hour away.)

How lovely! My mother is in Florida, and my Father is basically splitting up wit her! (Well, it feels like it.) My sister was like; "Don't worry. I asked if they were divorcing. Dad said he'll stay on weekends."

How is she so niave? And why does it feel like my Dad is choosing to confront in her? My Dad has been going through a mid-life crises as of late, I think he may even be cheating on my Mother. Doesn't matter, though. As far as I'm concerned, my Mom has failed to be the 'wife she could be'. I feel sort of like it's my fault Dad is leaving. He only recently began his odd behaviour about leaving the house for 8 hours at a time right after I left. Before this, my parents fought, but he never did it.

But him leaving? My friend thinks I should confront him. But I fear doing this. I wish my parents would have went through all of this when I was my younger sister's age, but hearing about potential (and highly likely) divorce right is actually hurting me! When I was younger, I wished they would have divorced – they fought so frequently! Now, I'm in shock. I feel distant. I feel like I started the family fallen apart.

But I'm 21! I was ready to move out and try life on my own terms. I wish my Father wasn't so concerned with the family sticking together, it's not like I had moved far. My other sister is going to Australia, and is making my parents feel bad again (she thinks my parents owe her.)

My job is starting soon. I fear that the girls will give me a difficult time like they did last year. I fear my 44 year old boss we'll continue to judge my personality. Recently, he made a quirk about how "I can't say anything to you, because you're so sensitive!" What did that mean? What kind of boss is that?

The stress is hitting me hard. I love my friends and I love my Mother and Father, but I'm not sure how I should feel. I worry my Dad may be suicidal. He's got diabetes now. He seems to think my Mother is – when he seen my "Asist" certificate (Applied Suicide Intervention Training), he seemed very interested. I contemplated if that were for himself or him pondering over my Mother.

Pressure. Lots of it currently. I won't hurt myself but I need to figure out how to re-evulate my life and my feelings, otherwise, I'm not sure how I'll manage during this extremely difficult portion of my life.