Do you ever believe that things are just too screwed up

That you can never feel the same

Talk the same

Love the same

Believe the same

Trust the same

Because that’s basically become my game

It’s like I had it all, I could have been fine

But this monster comes gliding in

Making up his lies

Creating his own sin

I sunk into his charm and thought I’d be the same

But as I stated before, It was supposed to be a game

It started out just fine, I was so loved, happy, and it couldn’t be better

Even back then it seemed right to make my arms redder

But I never realized how bad it would be when I lost myself

I never realized how quickly it goes by

When you have that final moment, and you honestly want to cry

And you have the feelings you used to, but you don't really want to die

Because he webbed your heart into every single lie

Let me tell you the truth on how painful it feels

I can’t even do that, under too many broken seals

I’m sorry I have to let go now

I’m going to keep all my progress i just don't know how

Okay. so again, i havnt written in these blog things in forever. but since i've been having a hard time again i remembered depression tribe and thought, what the hell. this poem is my thoughts on how basically, i dated this guy for over a year, and he was kinda controlling, but i was majorly in love with him, and i let it all happen, and i started hating my emotions more than usual and getting into drugs and cutting and basically destroying myself all over again. And now ive been sober off the harsh drugs, and i stopped cutting, but see, i can't get the old me back. it's driving me crazy, and It's hard to start all over and i just need advise on how to give myself a little more hope. i know how to make the pain go away in a healthy way, but i don't exacly believe in myself. and i need to believe. so..advise? please?