aged 18 I moved to Brighton and fell in love with someone we were together for about 5 years. we feel out of love and I moved back home in essex, about 3 months after I met a guy I liked and started smoking which led to smoking weed to impress him as he did. we never dated only hooked up every couple of weeks. I then met a guy in the January who introduced me to cocaine. before this time I had never really drunk or smoked and never even thought about drugs, things went down hill from there over the next 3 months I was doing about 10 grams a week. I lost my job, become isolated, distant, depressed and suicidal. we split up in the March but by that time I considered myself to be a full on addict. I would stay away from home and walk the streets for 2 or 3 days constantly doing cocaine and weed.

things but a really low point when one day I had done about 6 grams over the past 24 hours, over that time walking around the town and surrounding areas and on the cliff hills above our seafront. by this point i was starting to hillocinate and i spent the rest of the evening running hinding from my fanily that were looking for me. i am terrified of spiders and have panic attacks if one is near but i hid under a massive tree in the winter time i could feel cob webs over me and knew there was spiders but i was that off my face i didnt care.

another time after taking alot i was out and about and suddenly left like i was dreaming and i convinced myself that much that it was a dream i walked in front of a car to test it. luckly the car braked in time.

things were getting worse and in the july I tried to OD.

I started getting help from narcotics anonymous and my family and friends with support from my doctor. I then met the love of my life in the November and something just clicked. I have not touched cocaine since November 2016 and I’m now in a full time job we have our own flat and were expecting our first child. to any body who reads this that is feeling how I did. remember you have the power to change your life. your strong and beautiful and there is happiness in life without drugs.