Good NA Joke

, , Addiction, 0
NA to Change Way of Doing Things

New York, April 1, 2010 – Due to the downturn in the economy, Narcotics Anonymous will NO LONGER be dues and membership free," as has been the case for almost50 years.

Like many businesses, NA will now be charging for some things that used to be free, such as:
1. Being Rocketed into the 4th Dimension — $49.99 per trip, fuel surcharge applies, extra baggage NOT included. 5th Dimension trips optional; additional fee applies. See your sponsor for details.

2. Sponsorship — was free, NOW $9.99 per month, with 4 visits/20 phone calls per month free, after that, $2.00 each. Surcharge for calls after midnight: $1.50 per call.

3. Membership Dues — now $29.99/month, 10% discount for a 1-year plan.
4. Seating charges — Each seat now $1.00 per meeting, with a 20% discount for the 90-in-90 plan.
5. Pink Cloud — was free, NOW $14.99 per cloud, with a $5.00 per event environmental cleanup fee. These are the NEW ozone-free Pink Clouds that do NOT add to global warming.
6. Coffee — $1.50 per cup, with a 10% discount for 5 or more cups.
7. Hugs — will now be $2.50 each.
8. Conscious Contact with God — now $9.99/month, with the first 450 minutes free, then 10 cents/minute over 450.. New Double your Minutes for Life plan is a low $49.99 one time charge. Holidays and weekends extra; see rate schedule, as God is VERY busy.

9. Accidental cell phone call during meeting — charge now set at $25.00 per incident. Intentional calls: $75.00

10. I've been "Thinking" fees to now be $3.00 each, with a Relapse Reentry Fee of only $99.99 (each occurrence), if you're lucky enough to make it back into the rooms. Fees will be used to purchase additional white chips.

Please note: void where prohibited by law.

NA reserves the right to change none, all, or some of these rates at anytime, with no notice to you. If you need a notice of change in rates, a written request may be sent to headquarters in New York. A $10.00 fee applies.

NOTE: The editor does not accept responsibility for your reaction to this article. If you have a problem with it, please consult your sponsor (normal charges apply).
Kinda makes you think twice about how lucky we are that they decided to have the 8th tradition and not professionalize NA. Imagine having to pay for a professional sponsor. We probably have the only disease whose cure has not been commercialized. Makes us special and lucky. But, it's so easy to think that the cure isn't worth it's weight in gold because we don't have to pay big bucks for it!!!
Just kidding but it could happen. had an awesome birthday meeting tonight. 26yrs,7yrs,5yrs and 4yrs. two of them my sponsee's. in all 5 of my sponsee's were in attendance. the mother of a 25yr NA member who was murdered in Feb. of 2009 was there and when she cried about her son and all the love and respect we showed him i held her in my arms. i was very close to her son. we spent a lot of time together. why don't you do the same. spend a lot of time around people in Recovery. it's Working!!!!!!!!
NA hugs and Love,
JJ
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