what people who dont get it do ; http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/4-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-someone-having-a-panic-attack/
This is my family. I wish I could make them understand. Somehow them treating me like it's something I made up myself makes me feel so much worse. I've even started acusing my boyfriend of not believing me, I'm doubting everyone. I feel like they all think I'm a fool. My mother says to stop researching anxiety on the internet because I'll start imagining different symptoms :S and my sister says I shouldn't be on this website reading about everyone elses anxiety because it would make me worse. My dad doesn't usually say much at all, he's usually comforting to be honest but I really think he agrees with them. I know I shouldn't care what other people think but they're my family. I wouldn't make this up and I'm definitely not imagining it. It's something that feel so rotten, it literally makes me feel like sh*t. I just want them to understand and care.
Maybe this sounds petty but when my sister was diagnosed with depression they did everything possible to help her. I know I'm older and moved out but I feel like they're dismissing my problems. They don't see how I am, I don't let them. My boyfriend is the only one who knows truely how bad I get. I just want them to know so that I can feel their support is genuine. I need them. I can't do this on my own and putting all of this on my boyfriend is so unfair. I am constantly afraid that he's going to realise one day that he can't handle me anymore. If I could get away from myself I would, 🙁 , unfortunately that's impossible.
I am sleeping so much I get headaches now. I don't see the point of getting up. My dreams are so fun or interesting. Much more interesting than my life. In my dreams I am strong and I help people. I am not this weak horrible person that I am when I open my eyes.