Finally, 

A friend I played tournament poker with at the Hard Rock here in Miami called me on the day I'd decided to go into treatment. He was going to Costa Rica to play in a big tournament and invited me, his treat.

Tournament poker was one of the few things I found any pleasure in – You think only about your hand, the odds of a card turning up, and if the other guy is bluffing. Nothing else.

For hours.

It was an escape & I was good at it.

I wanted to go to the tournament.

I needed to go to treatment.

I told myself I would enter a tournament at the Hard Rock that night and if I won, I would go with my friend to Costa Rica . If I lost I would go into treatment.

The tournament started with about 200 people.On the first hand I was dealt A,K. A strong hand. I bet 500 of the 1500 chips each player was given to play the tournament with. Everybody else at my table folded, except for one guy.

The dealer turned 'the flop', the first three cards. It was 6,K,4. I had the top pair with the king, and the top 'kicker', or tie breaker, with the ace. I bet 500 more. The other guy called.

The 'turn', or fourth card, was a 9. Couldn't hurt me. I pushed my final 500 chips into the pile. The other guy calls.

Since we have no more chips to bet, we turn our cards face up and wait for 'the river', or final card.

The other guy had a pair of jacks.

My kings are way out in front. If the dealer turns up anything that matches the board, I'll win with that pair and a pair of kings. The other guy will have that pair and a pair of jacks. If the dealer turns up no matches, my pair of kings beat his pair of jacks. The only way I could lose is if the last card is a jack, which would give him three of a kind. There were only two more in the deck. As the dealer turned over the last card, I started reaching for the chips.

It was a jack. I was out of the tournament after the first hand.

I looked at the ceiling and laughed.

I knew….something.

The next day I entered Transitions treatment center.

We end up where we are suppose to be.

Because when we finally face whatever it is we’ve so long tried to ignore; we start to have a conscious contact with God.

That emptiness,

That loneliness,

That ache,

That void,

Inside of us,

That no amount of drinking or drugging ever fills,

Is gone.

And we start to see glimpses of God’s plan for us.

People cross our path who have no idea how to deal with their pain,

Shame,

Guilt,

Hurt,

Until they meet us.

And you listen to this person with no hope,

And see yourself.

Then you tell them your story,

And they see themselves.

And have hope;

That they are not alone.  They are not the only one.

You set that person back on the path they are suppose to be on,

So they can set the person who will cross their path, back on the path they are suppose to be on.

It is like a cosmic pinball game,

But so much cooler. 

I have found that peace I was so desperately looking for. I even found something I never expected.

Happiness.

I am happy today. And when I help someone, when I see that gleam of hope in their eyes, and I know that I helped do that, the feeling is indescribable. The way words couldn't describe the pain I felt after Joy was hurt. Today they can't describe the feeling I get when I know I'm doing something meaningful for someone else.

As far as my life's pendulum had swung one way, it's swung that far back to the other side.

Now I believe I know the 'what' is to become of my life, since I've had a glimpse of the 'why'.

The  'What', I believe is to open 'Joy's House'. A recovery home for women and their children. The how, I believe, is going to be through Joy's Adventures.

And Joy’s Adventures is going to be through 'It’s all in the JOURNEY.'

Kinda like that cosmic pinball game, huh?

Your probably wondering what 'It's all in the JOURNEY' is.

This is where God has led me: While working at that detox center I'd gone through 6 times in 9 years? I had an opportunity to buy a laptop and decided to get it. I worked the night shift and figured I could play poker while the patients slept.

I stumbled across blogging and started to write.

I wrote about loss, grief, a father's love, death, prison, freedom, guilt, addiction,

And a promise.

About the climb back to, and fighting to stay in, sobriety.

 One day a lady called me. She told me she was starting a real recovery magazine (not a newsletter).

I told her I thought that was a great idea, there were none.

She told me she was glad that I liked the idea because she had been reading my blog,

And wanted me to be the editor of it!

I am now the editor of 'It's all in the JOURNEY', the only high gloss, mainstream magazine that is written by, for and about the recovery community!

We started with 28 pages and 10,000 copies being printed every two months & going to every AA/NA clubhouse, detox center and treatment center in Florida .

.After 8 issues It’s all in the JOURNEY is now a 36 page magazine, printing 18,000 copies a month, and is now distributed to every AA/NA clubhouse, detox center & treatment facility in Florida AND California! It is also available at TV's Miami Ink, Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, Hollywood Choppers@ the Hard Rock, and select Starbucks in Miami.

And the director of Harbour Light (?) the treatment program run by the Salvation Army in Ontario , Canada , has requested the magazine for their patients!

Our covers are done by Grammy winning artist Jim Warren (who won his Grammy for the cover he did on Bob Segar’s ‘Against the Wind’ album), who agreed to do them for free after getting a copy of the magazine(!) and a pioneer in addiction treatment; Terence T. Gorski, asked if he could do a regular column in it after reading the premiere issue.

Our premiere issue has been downloaded and read from our website at: www.itsallinthejourney.com , by over 5,100 people.

You can read all of our issues there.

I want to write a book about my life.

I want to give people who have lost a loved one, hope.

I want to let someone who doesn’t believe in God, know that there is a God.

And that He has a plan for each of us.

I want to show someone who thinks there is no way out from addiction or alcoholism,

That there is.

And I want to keep my promise to Joy.

Peace.

Charlie G  

God has parted the curtains slightly from time to time to give me glimpses of His plan for me.

It makes it a little bit easier

peace